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KGB Destroyed Hitler’s Remains In 1970

By Wyatt Earp | December 8, 2009

<i>Just your normal genocidal couple.</i>

Just your normal genocidal couple.

Dude. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t believe a word out of their commie mouths, but if this is true . . . Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot?

Dec. 7 — Adolf Hitler’s remains were burned and dumped into an East German river by Soviet agents 25 years after the end of World War II, Interfax reported, citing Vasily Khristoforov, the Federal Security Service’s chief archivist.

The remains of Hitler, his companion Eva Braun and the family of Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels were destroyed in April 1970 on the secret orders of then-KGB chief Yuri Andropov, the Russian news agency said today. Andropov went on to become Soviet leader from 1982 until his death in 1984.

The Soviet army moved the bodies from near Rathenow, west of Berlin, and reburied them at a garrison in Magdeburg in 1946, Interfax said. When the facility was returned to the East German government in 1970, Andropov decided to destroy the remains. Fragments of Hitler’s skull and jawbone are still in Russia, according to Interfax. (H/TBloomberg)

Again, if this is true, the Russians are missing out on a golden opportunity here. They could dice up Hitler’s skull and jawbone, sell them online, and make millions of rubles. Who wouldn’t want their own piece of Hitler’s skull to destroy in interesting and imaginative ways?

Someone needs to contact Evgeny, the Russian Sham-Wow Guy.

Topics: WTF? | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “KGB Destroyed Hitler’s Remains In 1970”

  1. Old NFO Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    Anything is possible with them… They DID hold Berlin for a while

  2. John D Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    They may have burned his body, but They Saved Hitler’s Brain!

  3. kaveman Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 8:51 pm

    A nice size skull chip could have some ribs cut into like a hair comb, glued to the end of a stick and sold as a Jewish ball scratcher.

  4. Wes S. Says:
    December 8th, 2009 at 11:10 pm

    You’d think the Soviets could have thought of a few more fitting ways to dispose of the bodies, especially given what Hitler did to them.

    Imagine, for a moment, a press release from Tass declaring that every new urinal installed in Moscow’s public lavatories had a bit of Adolf’s and/or Eva’s ashes mixed into the ceramic, so Russians could piss on them for eternity…

    Leonid Brezhnev and Yuri Andropov could even have engendered much goodwill – and raised considerable hard currency for the struggling USSR – had they sold such urinals on the open market. I’m sure Israel would have bought several for the mens’ room in the Knesset, for example…and another such potty would grace the Presidential bathroom just off the Oval Office to this day.

    That’s the problem with Communists: they just don’t understand economics or marketing. I’m quite certain Vladimir Putin wouldn’t have made the mistake Comrade Yuri did…

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    December 9th, 2009 at 2:00 am

    Old NFO – And the East for a while longer.

    John D – I was hoping someone would say that!

    Kaveman – Love the imagery. Now I am going to go take a long shower.

    Wes S. – Putin would have those ideas, and broadcast them on pay-per-view.

  6. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    December 10th, 2009 at 9:54 am

    apparently the Ruskies can’t even get that one right, that skull fragment has just been determined to be that of a woman. :)