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Will Work For Candy

By Wyatt Earp | November 1, 2009

<i>Ready to serve the Emporer and the Empire.</i>

Ready to serve the Emporer and the Empire.

Well, Halloween went off without a hitch. Okay, that’s a whopper of a lie, but it felt nice to write it. While the kids donned their costumes – Kyle and Erik were clone troopers, Julia was a lion, and Kevin was a bumblebee – not all of them were entirely happy. Notice how Kevin is not in the photo? Well, he was having “freak out” time, and didn’t want to get his picture taken. Julia kept trying to pull off her “ears” and Erik was battling a 99 degree temperature. Not that it mattered to him, as he would want us to drag his comatose body down the street if it meant more Tootsie Rolls and Kit Kats in his bucket.

On top of that, it was raining off and on all night. Nothing like having your kids step in mud with white costumes on.

There were some high points. It was really warm out, so we didn’t need jackets, and the kids felt good enough to hit every street in our neighborhood. They had to stop at home to empty their pails twice. Oh, and the little 20-something harlot a few doors down came out dressed for her Halloween party. Apparently she was going as a tramp. She was wearing a French maid’s outfit so short that you could see her pink parts. Classay!

On the down side, we had the usual bused-in Trick or Treaters from North Philly. You could tell who they were because they rarely wore costumes and didn’t speak a word of English. Apparently, they think that single homes give out gold bricks or something. These toads usually got a nice Almond Joy from me. I hate those things. Similarly, there were not a lot of kids out this year, and even less people giving out treats. I fear Halloween is dying a slow, steady death, and there will be nothing left by the time Julia and Kevin are old enough to appreciate it. It’s a damned shame.

Of course, a lot of that may have to do with it was a Saturday night and a lot of morons were too busy with the Phillies to care about Halloween, but I digress.

Well, at least we finally got that photo of Kevin . . .

<i>Bee Boy to the rescue!</i>

Bee Boy to the rescue!

Topics: The Boys, The Girl | 13 Comments »

13 Responses to “Will Work For Candy”

  1. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 9:32 am

    We had a good amount of kids last night, but I think the Phillies (and the threat of rain) ruined another Halloween. Our block is pretty good for Halloween. Neighbors decorate, and hang out in front of their houses giving out candy. It keeps possible mischief at bay.

    We also get kids from crappy neighborhoods, but they are usually the little ones with a parent and I guess it’s safer than trick or treating in their own neighborhood. What’s sad are the little ones who are wandering around without a parent, they’re the same kids alone at the playground or whose mother thinks the library is a free babysitting service. One year, a woman who was as high as a kite, with seven little kids, pulled her pants down and relieved herself between two cars. There are a few others with no costume and a grocery store bag that see Halloween as “Free Candy Night.” They show up at the door, with their bag opened, and can’t be bothered to say anything.

    But for the most part, we get nice kids in costumes and parents, and it’s fun hanging out and chatting with neighbors (some of whom dress up). I always loved Halloween and I hate to think of it going down the tubes.

    Glad to hear your kids made a major haul! Cute pictures.

  2. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 10:28 am

    Last year we had 260 trick or treaters, this year we had roughly 255, so it’s staying pretty steady. Of course we have the grownups disguised (or not) as kids trick or treating and occasionally a rowdy bunch. All in all though it was a blast.
    AND your kids look absolutely adorable. Love the lion outfit especially. :)

  3. Teetop Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 10:59 am

    This post is useless, without a pic of the neighbor in the French Maid outfit, Wyatt!

    Kiddos look great, though.

  4. ckuhner Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 11:28 am

    We had very few treaters here in sunny Ca. We normally run out of stuff but have a good amount left over.

  5. Ingineer66 Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 11:41 am

    No trick or treaters at my house since there are only 2 houses out here so far, so we went to a friends house a few blocks away and they had the bused in kids. Had candy for over 200 and ran out about 8:00. I did notice a few Grinch houses that had caution tape around the lawns and driveways to keep kids off and no candy. And my friend in Texas said several houses in her area were not handing out candy.

    ps ditto what Teetop said

  6. GroovyVic Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 1:45 pm

    We never get trick-or-treaters and decided not to take the kids out last night. They’re just getting over being sick and I’m not taking any chances!

  7. RT Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 3:25 pm

    I didn’t buy much candy, since the neighbors said there too many trick-or-treaters around these parts. :( While I don’t get into the dark side of things on Halloween, I do like to give out candy to the little kids. You can bring them over here next year and I’ll give them all of my candy, Wyatt. :)

    Hope Erik is feeling better. The kids look cute, too. (Even if Julia doesn’t look too happy about it.)

    I had one lady bug visit (with her older brothers) while wailing away on her daddy’s shoulders. He tried to assure her that chocolate makes everything better. He’s a smart, smart man. ;)

    I had friendly, respectful visitors. Nice change from my apartment complex.

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 8:47 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants – Thanks. Kyle and Erik came to the door of an elderly woman a block away, and she looked at them. When they didn’t say anything, she said, “Um, shouldn’t you be saying something?” The light bulb went off and the said the magic words. It was awesome.

    DL474 – Thanks. She didn’t like the hat, but the rest was fine.

    Teetop – I thought about that, but the Mrs. was next to me, and her dad was right there. Captain America can vouch for me, though. It was a nice outfit.

    ckuhner – We had a lot left over, and since the boys don’t like peanuts, I get all the Snickers I can eat!

    Ingineer66 – My kids know the rules. If the light is out and the door is closed, we do not knock. And when the door is open, we knock GENTLY. No banging on the door.

    GroovyVic – And wouldn’t you know it, Erik is still sick today. Figures.

    RT – Most we saw were okay, but there was a Hindu guy in his late 20′s. walking around with a bag and no costume. No kids, either. Dude, get a job and buy your own damned candy!!!

  9. Kim Says:
    November 1st, 2009 at 9:05 pm

    Glad your kids had fun with the rain and puddles. Don’t forget to pull out all the candy you like and leave them the rest inspect the candy to make sure it is safe for your sweet, innocent children.

  10. C/A Says:
    November 2nd, 2009 at 9:47 am

    Wow dude. Apparently you do have amazing powers of observation. I didn’t get enough of a look to “File” it. Guess that’s why your the detective. :)

  11. The British Bird Says:
    November 2nd, 2009 at 11:26 am

    we didnt get that many trick or treaters around by the lake, under twenty five for sure. didnt recognize half the kids but I suippose thats normal to get the bused in ones.

    first horde of them sort of swerved en masse around the corner and the larger of the six, he must have had forty pounds on the rest of the kids elbowed his way to the front and went into the bowl with BOTH hands, then went in for the second time I said “No you dont!” the rest managed to get a look in and one kid said ” If you dont give me any candy im going to jump on your car!”… he got one piece. little sod!

    not sure I will bother next year. No hindu guys though, what a cheek!

    The Bird.

  12. Dano Says:
    November 2nd, 2009 at 1:55 pm

    Don’t get many on my hill.

    But isn’t that what french maid’s costumes supposed to do?

    Almost as good as the women who showed up wearing a ‘Freudian’ slip… and nothing else (it was a thin slip). I gave her a jacket because it was cold.

  13. Dave Says:
    November 2nd, 2009 at 7:00 pm

    After averaging 1 costumeless kid out of 3 last year (not just teenagers, either; I am talking 9 and 10 year olds in nothing but street clothes) at my house, this year I posted a sign on my door- No Costume No Candy. I turned away a bunch of people. One rather irate father asked me about the sign, and I told him that costumes were part of the sacred Halloween contract, so showing up at my door sans costume constituted breach of contract which therefore legally relieved me of the obligation of providing candy. I love glazed eyes and blank looks!!