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Keep It Local: Are You Kidding Me?

By Wyatt Earp | September 11, 2009

Keep It LocalThe fish wrappers that are the Philadelphia Inquirer and the Daily News produced an advertising campaign entitled, “Keep It Local!” “Local” owner Brian Tierney ran both of these already terrible newspapers so far into the ground that they can be printed with lava, but he is warning Philadelphians that out-of-towners would be the papers’ downfall.

In my opinion, the ads should be placed in the comics section, because it is too damned funny for the front page. Of course, it is not as funny as the papers’ bankruptcy proceedings:

A bankruptcy judge in Philadelphia is once again criticizing both sides in the Inquirer-Daily News bankruptcy proceedings — this time concerning their dispute over a newspaper publicity campaign.

Creditors are complaining that the current investor group led by newspaper chief executive Brian Tierney is using his newspapers and the company web site,, to “demonize” any outside bidders before the company is put on the auction block next month.

Judge Stephen Raslavitch on Wednesday called the creditors’ objections flimsy. He also said the rival creditors’ group could buy its own advertising space in the papers. Later, outside of court, Tierney quipped that he’d “give them a good rate.” (H/TKYW1060)

Whew, thank God Tierney isn’t arrogant, or his publications would be in deep doo-doo by now. It’s amazing how he can be so smug right before his newspapers circle the toilet bowl.

Okay, here’s my take on this, although anyone who has read one sentence of this blog probably can tune out now. You all know what I am going to say.

1. Keep It Local? Where is “local?” Almost every member of the Inquirer and Daily News editorial board lives outside the city limits. The same can be said for many of the writers and columnists. Now Brian Tierney wants to convince his readers that he and his staff are “local?” Puh-lease!

What is especially troubling is that the staff is always offering editorials to (in their words) help the city become a better place to live and work. These opinions are usually idiotic and costly, like the time they demanded that city residents help pay for the new football and baseball stadiums.

I mean, what do they care if our taxes go up? They don’t live here. Call me provincial, but I don’t think people who live outside my city get to have an opinion on how we spend our taxes. If you’re not paying into the system, frak off.

2. Let ‘em die. (The newspapers, that is.) Tierney came in with a “Local” attitude and a lot of empty promises. The result? Even worse sales numbers than the previous idiot owners. Good job there, chief. Of course, it doesn’t help that both papers have such an obvious liberal slant that they make the New York Times seem like a Rush Limbaugh publication. When you go that far to the Left, you will alienate a lot of your readership, and you shouldn’t be surprised when it happens.

Maybe if the writers simply reported the news instead of commented upon it, they would be in the black and not the red. Much better newspapers than the Inky and the Daily Snooze have folded already – it’s just the Philly rags’ turn now. Their demise is no one’s fault but their own.

Topics: Evil = Funny | 6 Comments »

6 Responses to “Keep It Local: Are You Kidding Me?”

  1. Becky Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 12:42 am

    Wyatt, I am coming to town next Thursday. I am bringing a sister (and her husband) and nephew that have never been to Philly. I plan on taking them to the Liberty Bell, Constituition Hall, the US Mint, Franklins grave and Betty Ross’s house. I would love to buy you a beer! i am totally legit. (email me and I can provide credentials that I am not a nut!) If not I will enjoy your city, Keep us safe!

  2. Kim Says:
    September 12th, 2009 at 7:01 pm

    I am a “localvore” and the definition is with in a 50 (some say 100 but no more) mile radius. Newspaper advertisements should reflect that. However, news happens all over and the news that is reported should reflect that.

    While there is no such thing as an unbiased/unslanted media, there should at least be some attempt to pretend to try to be unbiased.

    As for the rest, the guy is an idiot if he thinks that slapping “LOCAL” on a newspaper is going to save it because that is not what “LOCAL” is about. It is about buying the paper at a mom and pop shop and not at Wal-mart. Or getting your food from a local grocer or local farmer and not having it shipped in from Nicaragua.

    I could go on a huge rant about this since this is how we try to live, but I won’t.

    And yes, let the paper die if that is what it is going to do. Unless it is eligible for a government bail-out?

  3. Crankipants Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 11:42 am

    The papers have done this more than once, and it drives me crazy. The supported Street’s second run, and once he was on the way out, they cried that the city needed reform – reform in the form of another hack, career Democrat. As if Street had no prior history! As if Street didn’t stink all along and everybody knew it. So they get Fluffer Nutter and act like he poops tiffany cufflinks only to discover that he doesn’t, and if the papers are still around they will support another Democrat hack to replace him.

    Please die, PNI and take the Philadelphia Weakly and Sh*tty Paper with you. They are like the horse and buggy. Your time is done.

    I particularly despise the weeklies and thier attitude of “Fight the power, but support our sponsors.” They would fold without the pimp and prostitute ads.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 11:56 am

    Becky – Nothing would make me happier, but I am working night shift on Thursday. (Ironically, I am off Tuesday and Wednesday.) I get ready for work at about 1:30pm, but if you want to get together a little earlier, let me know.

    Kim – Much of the content of both papers is wire copy now. Their writers do very little, and when they do, it’s terribly slanted. Both papers could fail and I wouldn’t care a whit.

    Crankipants – Hey, don’t knock pimpin’. It ain’t easy, ya know! I am with you on the papers. They might as well get DNC funding.

  5. Becky Says:
    September 13th, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    All but Sunday, we are ready for a drink. Although, we understand if you can’t cuz you have to work. Friday would be good before 1:30.

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 14th, 2009 at 7:29 am

    Becky – Friday would be okay. I’ll send you an e-mail later today.