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You Better Work It, Girl

By Wyatt Earp | June 21, 2009

<i>Really, what the hell is she wearing?</i>

Really, what the hell is she wearing?

After almost six months, I have become accustomed to the media fawning over President Barack Obama. I can accept the fact that they paint every little word, move, and action in the best possible light. They did the same to Bill Clinton. What I cannot understand is the gushing love affair they have with Michelle Obama. She is as obnoxious and overbearing as Hillary Clinton, and people skewer her cankly arse with glee. Michelle Obama is no different – she is as unattractive on the outside as she is on the inside. So, imagine my surprise when I found out that she is now receiving awards from the entertainment industry! It simply exploded my skull.

The love-fest with the Queen of Mean is my subject for this week’s Family Security Matters article. Here’s a taste:

There were a lot of high profile, potentially world-changing stories that came across the news wires this week. The stories ran the gamut from the sublime to the ridiculous. In Iran, people have been taking to the streets in protest of their presidential election shenanigans. After the 2000 American presidential election, the worst example of “protest” was Al Gore growing a beard. In North Korea, resident madman Kim Jong Il is threatening to launch a nuclear war, because it is much more important to rattle a saber instead of say, feeding your people. Oh, and President Barack Obama fired an Inspector General who was investigating one of his supporters. Nothing to see there.

Naturally, one would think that the above stories would be of utmost importance. However, one would be wrong. See, there is a much more pressing issue that affects each and every person on this big blue marble we call Earth. The Council of Fashion Designers of America held its annual awards on Monday night. Who is the Council of Fashion Designers of America? Members of the Council are like the Jedi Council, but instead of lightsabers, they wield hatpins. They protect and defend the rights of clothes-wearing citizens everywhere. In short, they are the fashion police.

Most of the awards were bestowed upon the giants of the industry. Apparently, the CFDA believes that First Lady Michelle Obama is one of these giants. That’s right; Michelle Obama – the woman who wore the curtain from the old Merv Griffin Show to the Inauguration – is being recognized as a fashion icon.

Michelle Obama, are they kidding? Last week, this woman was seen wearing something from the Cyndi Lauper Collection: a white top with multi-colored fabric wrapped around her stomach. It was an abomination that even Peg Bundy would not be caught in at her insane, inbred family reunion. What’s next for the First Lady, feathered boas?

You can read the rest of the fashion emergency HERE.

Topics: FSM | 17 Comments »

17 Responses to “You Better Work It, Girl”

  1. ajdshootist Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 4:21 pm

    Looks like my mothers bedroom curtians back in the 60s.

  2. Mark Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 5:55 pm

    I call her “ten beers” because that’s how many beers I’d need to drink before I thought she was doable.

  3. Jeffro Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 6:15 pm

    She’d look more at home if she raided Worf’s closet.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 7:30 pm

    I want to be Jackie Onassis
    I want to wear a pair of dark sunglasses
    I want to be Jackie Onassis, oh yeah!

  5. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 7:38 pm

    Did she steal that bow from Rose Marie?

  6. Bloviating Zeppelin Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 8:48 pm

    Mrs Obama, I’m sure, is likely a nice person as far as that goes. But as a representative of the United States she leaves most EVERYTHING to want.

    She has NO class whatsoever. The pieces of crap she wears, in a consistently casual fashion, do nothing but hold America, in the eyes of the world, as a CLASSLESS nation. Laura Bush had class. Even Hillary had more class than Michelle, at least in terms of presenting an image to the world. Barbara Bush had class.

    At a time with Liberal pieces of shit exclaim that America MUST care about how it is perceived globally, Michelle Obama consistently underwhelms and shows remarkable ignorance. She dresses as a squatter in a Chicago tenement.

    Are you surprised?


  7. Old NFO Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 9:09 pm

    Good one, and DEFINITELY on point!

  8. Boson Higgs Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 10:00 pm

    What is THAT on her neck, a rabid BAT ??!!!

  9. 1921 c drum Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 11:19 pm

    I miss Laura Bush.

    I really, really miss Laura Bush.

  10. Rides A Pale Horse Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 11:24 pm

    Mrs. Obama is the first and ONLY first “lady” to have her own, personal, full time fashion consultant(s) (whom I believe to be Republican plants) and personal, full time makeup artist.

    Mary Kay Cosmetics is thrilled……..

  11. Rides A Pale Horse Says:
    June 21st, 2009 at 11:25 pm

    Link didn’t post to above comment…….

  12. Don Meaker Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 12:14 am

    In support of our soldiers and marines, she is wearing camouflage

  13. USA_Admiral Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 5:43 am

    That was one of your best.

    Yeah. I miss Laura Bush too.

  14. Maggie Mama Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 7:12 am

    I think she wears weird outfits so we don’t notice the weird faces she makes.

    What’s with that sour puss?

  15. Jon Brooks Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Boson..The bats poor lil feet got caught in the shower curtain ringholes

  16. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    ajdshootist – Or Archie Bunker’s wallpaper.

    Mark – You have a much lower tolerance than I. I’d need ten beers and ten whiskey shots.

    Jeffro – Bawahahahahaha!

    Mrs. Crankipants – Wow, some HSR!

    BZ – She certainly does not look like a First Lady.

    Old NFO – Thank you, sir.

    Boson Higgs – Maybe she’s a vampire?

    1921 c drum – So do I.

    RAPH – She could have been Heath Ledger’s stunt double in The Dark Knight.

    Don – If she supported them, anyway.

    USA Admiral – Thanks. It’s rare when I think something I write is really funny. This was one of those rare occasions.

    Maggie Mama – Maybe she isn’t gettin’ any?

    Jon – I hate it when that happens.

  17. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    June 22nd, 2009 at 9:14 pm

    I didn’t think anyone would get it,
    never mind remember HSR!