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A Lovely Mother’s Day Tale

By Wyatt Earp | May 11, 2009


For those of you not in the law enforcement profession, I’ll let you in on a little secret: Holidays are the busiest times of the year for us. The reason for this is simple: People get together with their families, and after five minutes, they realize that they hate each other. Mayhem ensues.

Take tonight, for example. It’s Mother’s Day, but that didn’t deter one particular toad from waging his own brand of shenanigans. Here’s what happened:

The toad was over his mom’s house for Mother’s Day dinner. During the gathering, said toad became agitated for an unknown reason - probably because a family member took the last dinner roll or some such nonsense. Anyway, the toad completely lost it. In the span of a few minutes, he threatened to kill his mother, slapped his mother across the face, then took her purse and fled the house with it. Luckily, an uncle chased the toad down, recovered the purse, and held the son for police. Something tells me the son won’t be invited back for Father’s Day dinner.

So, how was your Mother’s Day?

Topics: The Job |

13 Responses to “A Lovely Mother’s Day Tale”

  1. Jason Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 12:07 am

    Let me guess: Alcohol or narcotics was a factor? Or is this guy just a plain and simple rectal polyp without the need for chemical additives?

  2. Old NFO Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 3:26 am

    Don’t envy you at all Wyatt…

  3. bob Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 5:20 am

    Who steals his mom’s purse??!?

    I imagine he wouldn’t have the balls to treat his father the same way…

  4. Bloviating Zeppelin Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 5:22 am

    I lost my Mom in 2002, and my Dad in February of this year. Never fail to tell those you love how important they are to you, and what they mean to you — time rushes past like a hurricane.


  5. BadIdeaGuy Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 7:16 am

    Here I thought it was controversial that I was late to brunch!

  6. Randal Graves Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 8:31 am

    It’s not even that hot out yet.

  7. Doghouse Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 9:41 am

    So, how was your Mother’s Day?

    Better than his!

  8. USA_Admiral Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 10:46 am

    That must have been one hell of a dinner roll or her purse was loaded with cash.

  9. Kim Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 10:57 am

    I think he was stealing the purse so he could have the laxatives inside.

  10. AJ Lynch Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 12:24 pm

    Taking the last roll is a dastardly thing.

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 12:55 pm

    Jason - Choice #3. Rectal polyp. No drugs nor alcohol.

    Old NFO - It’s okay. It’s job security.

    Bob - This may shock you, but there is no father in the picture.

    BZ - Well said, sir.

    BIG - Different families have different controversies.

    Randal - Yeah, imagine how bad it will be when the temps hot 90.

    Doghouse - I would certainly hope so.

    Admiral - Maybe it was garlic-flavored. I love those!

    Kim - Sounds reasonable to me.

    AJ - He’ll be able to think about that in a jail cell for the next few days.

  12. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 11th, 2009 at 1:27 pm

    Well, I didn’t get slapped or have my purse stolen. My little Crumbsnatcher made me a bracelet and Mr. Crankipants did the dishes. It was a lovely day!

  13. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 12th, 2009 at 1:40 pm

    Mrs. Crankipants - Good for you. You deserve it.