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Berlin Woman Attacked By Polar Bear

By Wyatt Earp | April 11, 2009

See? We were right in trying to global warm these white devils out of existence! Oh, and before you send me hate mail about my giggling, the only thing you should know is that this idiot jumped into the enclosure before the attack.

This is the moment a woman was mauled by a polar bear after she jumped into its enclosure at Berlin Zoo. The intruder was attacked just yards away from Knut, the abandoned bear who became famous around the world.

Zookeepers managed to push the bear away and carry the woman from the cage.

The mauling took place inside an enclosure occupied by four polar bears not far from Knut’s home.

Heiner Kloes, a Berlin Zoo spokesman, said the enclosure is surrounded by a fence, a line of prickly hedges and a wall.

Naturally, a police spokesman issued the understatement of the year:

“The woman has proved herself to be careless by jumping into the enclosure,” a police spokesperson said. (H/T - Sky News)

Ya think??? You can see the shocking, yet totally awesome, photo here:


Advantage: Polar bear.

Topics: Evil = Funny |

12 Responses to “Berlin Woman Attacked By Polar Bear”

  1. RT Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Aside from the obvious psychological issues this woman must have, what in the world????? How stupid! Did she think they’d make friends?

  2. joated Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 10:09 pm

    Shallow end of the gene pool.

    Sure hope they do not take this out on the bear.

  3. proof Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 10:25 pm

    What a massive scary beast! And the bear is impressive, too!

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 11th, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    RT - Maybe she thought she’d get lucky?

    Joated - Me neither. They should put the woman down.

    Proof - Ba-dump-bump!

  5. dorkelina Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 2:54 am

    Holy crap!

  6. Alan B Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 4:10 am

    She jumps into a cage with 4 of the world’s largest land carnivore (full grown male 1500 lb or 680 kg - well over half a ton or tonne) and she expects, What?

    Praise to the keepers who saved her!

    (Suicide by polar bear??)

  7. MUD Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 10:35 am

    Another submission for the Darwin Awards. They are so cute. Mummmm, tastes like seal. MUD

  8. USA_Admiral Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 11:05 am

    We almost got rid of some faulty genes in the Gene Pool. I have no sympathy for idiots.

  9. Morgan Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 11:10 am

    An Oh Brother! moment and just in time for the Easter weekend! How ’bout that?

  10. marvin Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 11:12 am

    Whose the big cuddly bear, who is…uhh oh no, make it stop, make it stop.

  11. marvin Says:
    April 12th, 2009 at 11:13 am

    Darn my punctuation, there should be a exclamation mark on the end of that, and the whole thing should be in quotes.

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    April 14th, 2009 at 1:39 pm

    Dorkelina - She’s fallen and she can’t get up!

    Alan B - Makes Suicide by Cop seem like a walk in the park!

    MUD - And smells like fish.

    Admiral - Nor do I.

    Morgan - The polar bear must have eaten her Easter bonnet.

    Marvin - It was understood. No worries.