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Big Money! Not So Big Prizes

By Wyatt Earp | February 1, 2009

big-moneyThe 1990 video game Smash TV had a line running throughout the game play: “Big money! Big Prizes! I love it!”

Well, the new stimulus package is chock full of big money. It is also chock full of enough pork to choke Rosie O’Donnell. And, just like Rosie O’Donnell, this crap-ulus package is getting larger by the hour. Pretty soon, it will devour us all.

This trillion dollar baby is my subject for this week’s article at Family Security Matters. Here’s a sample:

Two weeks ago, Barack Obama was sworn in as the nation’s 44th president. Millions of Americans reveled in the HopeyChange that was being offered by the new administration, and sat back to await their unicorns, free gasoline, and lifetime subscriptions to Maxim magazine.

They are still waiting.

Unfortunately, most voters failed to realize that it is rather difficult to keep promises of unicorns, free fuel, and a supermodel in every bathtub when the economy is failing faster than Oprah’s latest diet. Something needed to be done, and as usual, our friends in Congress had a solution: We’ll spend our way to prosperity! In the course of the last week, President Obama’s “economic stimulus package” was fast approaching the $900 billion – that’s billion with a “b” – mark. According to The Wall Street Journal, the money will be spent thusly:

[A] $365.6 billion spending measure for such brick-and-mortar projects as highways and bridges; a $180 billion measure to boost jobless benefits and Medicaid, among other things; and a $275 billion tax-relief package, which includes a plan to give a $500 payroll tax holiday to all workers.

Almost a trillion dollars in spending and they want to give the American worker a lousy $500 payroll tax holiday? Most tourists would enjoy a better “holiday” clearing landmines in Bosnia! Naturally, there is enough pork in the plan to send a radical Islamist screaming into the night – courtesy of the Speaker of the House, Nancy “BOTOX” Pelosi. San Fran Nan thought it would be just swell if millions of dollars were shuttled to family planning services. In effect, Pelosi wanted to submit a contraceptive measure into the bill. Now that’s leadership we can (family) plan upon!

You can read the rest of the article HERE.

Topics: FSM | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Big Money! Not So Big Prizes”

  1. RT Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 9:30 am

    I wants mines!

  2. RT Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 10:31 am

    And I was reminded of tag line.

  3. Easily Lost Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Can you make sure mine is a male supermodel? K? Thanks.

  4. Deanna Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 10:51 am

    Can you explain how contraception and abortion is going to stimulate the economy???

  5. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 12:51 pm

    RT – After a while, the numbers grow so large that they don’t mean anything.

    E.L. – I’ll see what I can do. I’m holding out for Jessica Biel.

    Deanna – I cannot, but Pelosi claims that less people makes for a better economy. I wonder how many abortions she has had?

  6. Randal Graves Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 1:30 pm

    Smash TV was awesome. The controllers were great for that game because you had 2 joysticks: 1 to control your walking and one for shooting. So you could walk in 1 direction and shoot in the other. fantastic.

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 1:34 pm

    Randal – Vincent Antonelli and I spent most of our college tuition on that game at Champions Arcade. Simply fantastic.

  8. Randal Graves Says:
    February 1st, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    I wonder if Champions is still there. We could have a Road Trip: Champions and then Steve’s.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 2nd, 2009 at 2:00 am

    Randal – I’m in!!!