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An Important Safety Tip

By Wyatt Earp | February 15, 2009

teh-funnyI wanted to post this yesterday, but it took me a day to simmer down. There was no point in posting this if it was just going to be one “F-bomb” after another. I’m still sore about it, but I needed to write this so you folks know what we have to deal with after a fellow officer is murdered.

Yesterday, a thug was arrested and brought into the division for retail theft. The rocket scientist stole five tubes of toothpaste – a product the man obviously never used in his life.

When the offender was being processed – in the same police station where John Pawlowski worked – the arresting officer asked him for his biographical information. And that’s when it happened.

The man immediately exploded and yelled the one thing you should never yell 12 hours after a police officer is murdered:

“This is why all you f**king white boys are gettin’ shot!”

Had I been next to the offender, I would have gone into full Queen Latifah mode: “Oh no you didn’t!” Unfortunately, I was upstairs in the squad room. But, since the incident happened, I thought it best to explain the rules of etiquette to those of you who are not members of law enforcement.

If you find yourself arrested the day week month after a police officer is murdered, it is wise to not tell another officer that doing his or her job is the reason officers are being murdered. Similarly, if you are going to make such asinine statements out loud, it is best to not say them in the building where a recently murdered officer was assigned!

Just a safety tip from your old pal Wyatt.

Topics: The Job | 19 Comments »

19 Responses to “An Important Safety Tip”

  1. RT Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 4:10 pm

    I wish I was there to stick all of the toothpaste where the sun don’t shine and squeeze.

    (My apologies to your aunt. I would have said worse, though.)

    Stupid you know what.

  2. Alan B Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 4:16 pm

    Proverbs 15:1

    “A soft answer turns away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

    or (my version)

    Talk nicely to a cop when you are in his station. (Accidents can occasionally happen.)

  3. Bloviating Zeppelin Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 6:25 pm

    Is it just me, or has Philadelphia had more officers killed in the last year or so than any other city in the United States?


  4. Old NFO Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 6:27 pm

    I’m sorry, but they would have needed a mop and bucket to clean up the remains after I got throught with him…

  5. Snigs Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 6:52 pm

    I concur with NFO.

  6. George Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 9:06 pm

    I third that!!!!

  7. rachel Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 9:12 pm

    I hope the POS “accidently” fell down a very long flight of stairs (face first) after being so incredibly stupid and vile.

  8. rachel Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 9:17 pm

    And might I add my very sincerest appreciation to all our men and women in blue for the great job you all do. If it were up to me, I would take the salaries of the inept City Council members and useless Legislators and give it all to you guys who actually serve a purpose.

  9. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 9:18 pm

    Old NFO-I’d need an eight pack of Bounty.
    Wyatt, prety please beat the crap out of him.

  10. Jason Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 10:05 pm

    Let this man not be harmed until he arrives in prison. Then someone needs to say hello with a sharpened toothbrush.


  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    February 15th, 2009 at 10:22 pm

    RT – It was infuriating, but if we wiped the floor with him, it would make us just as bad.

    Alan B – The officers put the fear of God into him, but never touched him. You’d be surprised how easily some “sentence enhancers” and insults can make a man cry.

    BZ – I am almost positive we have that notorious honor.

    Old NFO/Snigs/George – Don’t think we didn’t want to bash his skull in. Cooler heads prevailed.

    Rachel – Thank you. We don’t necessarily need more money, but some occasional appreciation would be just swell.

    Mrs. Crankipants – No can do. No matter how much I’d like to.

    Jason – I wish. Unfortunately, this tool will probably be very safe in the Philadelphia Prison System.

  12. Ky Person Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 6:08 am

    Ah Wyatt, if I was the Ruler of the World, I’d give police and firemen such high salaries, while politicians would have to moonlight as street cleaners to augment the pitiful wages I’d give them.

  13. USA_Admiral Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 6:59 am

    Ignorance knows no bounds. The only time ignorance ends, is in death.

  14. Doghouse Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 10:11 am

    Put him in the Aryan wing of the jail.

  15. Sully Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 12:49 pm

    Wow,… what a jackass.

  16. AJ Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 3:36 pm

    He got this comin’ out the door, right?

    You don’t f*ck with the cops. This stupid mother will get what’s coming to him, one way or the other.

  17. dragonlady474 Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 6:50 pm

    Reading that made me want to drop a few f-bombs of my own. I hate thugs.

  18. Bitter American Says:
    February 16th, 2009 at 11:15 pm

    I can’t agree with NFO. I’d beat that pussy until he was an inch away from death, send him to hospital to get patched up,….and do it to him again.

    Lather, rinse, repeat!

    Side note, my 90-year old, slightly senile mother, made the same connection this morning between the color of the assailants and the color of the officers. I hate tp say it, but I agree.

  19. pst314 Says:
    February 18th, 2009 at 10:32 am

    This is why I like dashboard cams: Because they show the sort of &*( that police officers have to deal with on a daily basis.