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Next On FOX: Pandas Gone Wild!

By Wyatt Earp | November 23, 2008

A man was seriously injured after jumping into a panda pen . . . because he wanted a hug. I could have warned him of this folly. I once tried to get a hug from Pandy, and she kicked my ass!

BEIJING — A college student in southern China was bitten by a panda after he broke into the bear’s enclosure hoping to get a hug, state media and a park employee said Saturday.

The student was visiting Qixing Park with classmates on Friday when he jumped the 6.5-foot (2-meter) high fence around the panda’s habitat, said the park employee, who refused to give his name.

He said the student was bitten on the arms and legs. Two foreign visitors who saw the attack ran to get help from workers at a nearby refreshment stand, who notified park officials, the employee said.

The student was pale as he was taken away by medics but appeared clearheaded, he said.

And what example of idiocy would be complete without a quote from the moron who started it all?

“Yang Yang was so cute, and I just wanted to cuddle him. I didn’t expect he would attack,” the 20-year-old student, surnamed Liu, said in a local hospital, according to the official Xinhua News Agency. (H/T - CNN)

He didn’t expect a wild panda would attack. I’m sorry, but maybe Mr. Lu should have jumped into the jackass pen. He would have fit right in.

Topics: Evil = Funny |

6 Responses to “Next On FOX: Pandas Gone Wild!”

  1. RT Says:
    November 23rd, 2008 at 8:33 am

    What an idiot! Guess that was redundant.

    I wonder if he wanted to wrestle if he’d go into the gator exhibit. Duh!

  2. dragonlady474 Says:
    November 23rd, 2008 at 10:13 am

    Let’s see, large paws with claws…check! Large teeth…check! Large snapping jaws to go with said teeth…check! Tree-hugging hippy-type…CHECK! What an idiot.

  3. Remulak MoxArgon Says:
    November 23rd, 2008 at 11:15 am


    Not good for hugging.

    But with a little paprika and a good hickory smoker.

    Very good for eating.

    They’re finger ling-ling good.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    November 23rd, 2008 at 12:05 pm

    RT - And if he wanted to box, he would jump into the kangaroo cage.

    DL474 - It’s the moronic perfect storm!

    Mox - Bawahahahahahahaha!

  5. Josh Says:
    November 24th, 2008 at 12:12 am

    I for one say good for him and I wish that more people would act on their desires to hug pandas. The real moron in this story is that lazy frigging panda bear. Guy was still breathing when they pulled him out? Obviously that’t the result of too much eazy living at the zoo.

  6. Alan B Says:
    November 24th, 2008 at 10:47 am

    Ever heard of the expression, “wild animals”?

    Guess not.