By Wyatt Earp | October 24, 2008
My God, is it January 3rd yet?
So, I was talking to my former partner the other night, and he was telling me about his newborn daughter. While we were talking, he mentioned that having a baby is a huge responsibility . . . and a lot of work.
A baby. Meaning one.
If life were a sitcom, there would have been a split screen showing me getting angry and his head exploding, like in Scanners. I wanted to say the following:
“You’re overwhelmed with one child? Are you frakkin kidding me?!! I HAVE THREE AND MY FOURTH WILL BE HERE IN TWO MONTHS!!!“
Thankfully, discretion got the better of me, and I didn’t mention it again until I got home. When I walked into the bedroom, I said to the missus: “Wait til you hear what Gerry told me . . . “ When I finished the story, she looked at me like I had three heads. She then calmly explained that when we had Kyle, we were pulling our hair out as much (or more) as Gerry and his wife are doing now. “You just forgot,” she said. As usual, she was right.
And then it hit me. Our fourth child will be here ’round Christmas. We can’t play man-to-man defense with our kids anymore. We have to play zone. For those of you without children, I can tell you with surety that raising kids is hard. Scary hard. So hard that no matter how hard I tell you it is, it still won’t prepare you for it. And it gets harder with every passing child. Kyle was a handful. Erik was a tornado. Kevin is a weapon of mass destruction. I can only imagine what the daughter will bring.
And it doesn’t get any easier when they get older. Now, we have to shuttle them back and forth to school, sports, and other assorted activities. We have to give them undivided attention all the time, and we have to worry ourselves half to death during their every waking moment. It’s insane.
Don’t get me wrong. It is all worth it and I love my kids more than life itself, but it takes so much out of you. I’m tired. Really tired. And I don’t even really raise the kids. The missus does all of the grunt work. That being said, when I come home from work, spend time with the kids, go to ice hockey games, write my weekly FSM article, and blog five times a day, I have exactly 22 seconds of “me” time.
And in January, that time will be scaled back to about 17 seconds.
So, if some of my posts seem a little hurried . . . or if I don’t stop by your blogs as often as I used to do . . . or if I don’t post a babe in a week, please don’t take it personally. I’m trying my best here.
Topics: The Boys |