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Another Patented Idiotic Philly Idea

By Wyatt Earp | October 21, 2008

“Come watch the Phillies during the World Series . . . surrounded by people you don’t know . . . outside . . . by a river . . . in October.” Yeah, that sounds like a terrific plan.

The Phillies are planning their second “fan party,” this Wednesday at Penn’s Landing, on the opening night of the World Series.

About a week ago, as the Phillies prepared to play the Dodgers in game 3 of the NLCS, the team and the city’s tourism office combined forces to set up a jumbo television screen on the riverfront for fans to watch that away game together.

Now, the Phillies’ Michael Harris, says they’re doing it again:

“We are going to have a viewing party entitled ‘The Rally by the River,’ at the Great Plaza at Penn’s Landing. It’s located on Columbus Boulevard between Market and Walnut Streets, and it’s free to the public. It opens up at 7:30, so we are encouraging all Phillies fans to come on down.”

The crime rate for the event? About 400%.

Fans are encouraged to dress warm for the outdoor event, and bring your own chairs, blankets, and (of course) Phillies accessories.

The last Phillies’ game-watching party on the riverfront drew about 2,000 [morons] people. (H/TKYW1060)

Which of the following is most likely to occur?

1. At least one homicide.
2. A drunken fan drowns in the river.
3. More than 100 pocketbooks and wallets are stolen.

Topics: Philly | 10 Comments »

10 Responses to “Another Patented Idiotic Philly Idea”

  1. Ky Person Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 7:17 am

    The answer is all of the above.

    I remember when you didn’t have to wear thermal underwear to a World Series because they held it at a normal time.

  2. USA_Admiral Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 7:48 am

    Ky Person is right; At least all of the above.

  3. Kim Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 8:38 am

    I will see all of your above and raise you missing/lost children, drug deals, and drunk driving.

  4. Rick Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 9:12 am

    I will raise you at least one shooting. drive by or other type of same.

  5. Deanna Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 9:40 am

    But can’t that happen on an average day in Philly? I guess they figure they might as well enjoy it in a party atmosphere cheering on their team.

  6. Doghouse Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 10:48 am

    So, you’re saying it’s a family-oriented event.

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 1:24 pm

    Ky Person – It’s another reason why kids won’t love baseball like kids of older generations do. They cannot grow up watching the game because the games are on so late.

    Admiral – Hey, it’s job security.

    Kim – Oh, how could I forget the DUI?

    Rick – Hell, someone may be hit from stray gunfire across the river in Camden.

    Deanna – I’d prefer my home or a bar/restaurant before sitting on cold cement next to a disgusting river.

    Doghouse – Yep, the criminals can bring their kids to pickpocket the viewers.

  8. TrekMedic251 Says:
    October 21st, 2008 at 11:10 pm

    2, definitely,…3, probably,..1, dunno. This ain’t the Suxers. Look at the upswell of support the Phils got winning the pennant last week. Zzzzzzz.

  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    October 22nd, 2008 at 12:31 am

    Trek – Bottom line? It’s baseball. Baseball is BORING!!!

  10. RT Says:
    October 22nd, 2008 at 4:01 am

    Gee, it is October. Hmmm….could they open up the park sans concessions (bring your own), charge $10 (50% for Komen Breast Cancer Fund & 50% toward the overtime for security and cops), and watch the game(s) on the big screen. Oh, that would be logical, eh?