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Douglas Fields Questions About Wall Street

By Wyatt Earp | September 25, 2008

Aaannnddd . . . jackass!

Aaannnddd . . . jackass!

And Michael Douglas would be the one to fix the crisis, because, you know, he played a banker in some stupid film 21 years ago.

UNITED NATIONS — Michael Douglas had to field questions Wednesday about the financial turmoil shaking world markets from reporters recalling his role in the 1987 film “Wall Street.”

Well, it’s official: reporters are idiots who have completely lost touch with reality.

Douglas won an Academy Award for portraying the rapacious banker Gordon Gekko, who popularized the phrase “greed is good” in the movie.

After world leaders here condemned the “boundless greed” of world markets, Douglas was asked to compare nuclear Armageddon with the “financial Armageddon on Wall Street.”

Ooh, ooh, can I field that one? I know I’m just an idiot police detective with a bachelor’s degree from a fine Jesuit institution, but I think I can explain the comparison:

Nuclear Armageddon = Millions of people dead.

Financial Armageddon = Millions of people put off buying that new car.

But the likening to Gekko did not end there, with a reporter asking: “Are you saying Gordon that greed is not good?”

“I’m not saying that,” Douglas replied. “And my name is not Gordon. He’s a character I played 20 years ago.” (H/TFOXNews)

Of course, he’s not saying that. He and his wife are worth millions. To quote Garrett Morris’ SNL bit: “Greed been berry, berry good to me.”

Topics: Snarkasm | 9 Comments »

9 Responses to “Douglas Fields Questions About Wall Street”

  1. USA_Admiral Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm

    Why can’t celebs just keep their pie holes shut?

    We should lock down California, Nobody gets in, and nobody gets out.

  2. Bloviating Zeppelin Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 1:06 pm

    Consulting Michael Douglas on fiscal affairs is like consulting PeeWee Herman on movie theatre design.


  3. John D Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 1:59 pm

    Michael Douglas is still alive? I though Sharon Stone ice picked him in the melon at the end of Basic Instinct. Oh, wait, that was just a movie wasn’t it? Like Wall Street was. Duh.

    The abject stupidity of celebs would be a whole lot more tolerable if the dimwits in the news media didn’t lend so much credence to what these clown say.

  4. AJ Lynch Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 2:26 pm

    WTF was he at the UN?

    I’d like to see people like Wyatt replace the media suckups that run Meet The Press. Call it Meet The Taxpayers and people like Wyatt get to ask the questions of the elected poobahs.

  5. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 4:04 pm

    wow… i don’t know what to say… i’m just stunned speechless as to how the world is going to hell in a hand-basket when reporters are holding a press conference with an actor that played a wall street guy in a movie way back when.

    “I’m not a financial guru… but I did stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night…”

  6. RT Says:
    September 25th, 2008 at 5:37 pm

    I hear he is so PC now that he wants to change the name of the China Syndrome to the Asain Malady.

    I wonder if the press would believe I’m the Queen of England?

  7. Dorkelina Says:
    September 26th, 2008 at 1:07 am

    Maybe they can get Hank Hill to come speak about the effects of Hurricane Ike next.


  8. Smite A. Hippie Says:
    September 26th, 2008 at 11:36 am

    Dorkelina – “That’s a great idea, I tell you what…”





  9. Wyatt Earp Says:
    September 26th, 2008 at 7:07 pm

    Admiral – Like Escape from New York. 50-foot wall with machine gun nests.

    BZ – Or consulting me about good writing.

    John D – And it appears that they were hanging on to his every word. He’s an actor, you dolts!

    AJ – It’s why I can’t run for office. Too blunt.

    Smite – The only thing I want to hear from him is how he landed Catherine Zeta-Jones.

    RT – Can you speak with a British accent?

    Dorkelina – “I sell propane and propane accessories.”

    Smite – Suddenly, I have a craving for Alamo Beer.