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STD’s Rampant In PA School District

By Wyatt Earp | June 27, 2008

Boiiinnnggg! Haven’t these kids every heard the phrase, “Don’t be a fool, wrap your tool?”

A Pennsylvania school district has such a high number of students with sexually transmitted diseases that the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has stepped in to track down students at risk for HIV.

It’s estimated that 10 percent of the 3,000 middle and high school students in the Delaware Valley School District in Milford, P.A., are infected with an STD — including one confirmed case of HIV, Times Herald Record reported Friday.

On top of those figures, about two dozen teenage girls in the school system have tested positive for pregnancy.

A non-profit health clinic in Milford said they estimate more than 300 students contracted a sexually transmitted disease in the past year. Officials also told the paper students as young as 12 years old reported being sexually active. (H/TFOXNews)

Twelve years old??? As someone who didn’t lose their virginity until they were eighteen years old, I have only one thing to say: God, I am such a loser!

Topics: Snarkasm | 14 Comments »

14 Responses to “STD’s Rampant In PA School District”

  1. Bloviating Zeppelin Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 6:35 pm

    Man, I feel like such a damned fossil. What they evidently don’t know is that syphilis, for example, is the gift that keeps on giving now and forever. Rots the brain. Just ask Al Capone, Al Jolson, King Henry VIII, Napoleon, John Keats, Vincent Van Gogh, Oscar Wilde, Franz Schubert, Florence Nightingale, Nietszche, Beethoven, Foucault, soon to include Robert Mugabe.

    Oh wait, that’s right, those kids don’t have the first clue about those persons as they have no idea about history. Sorry. How could I be so silly?


  2. RT Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 7:14 pm

    History? They don’t even care about current events.

    I went to a small high school where everyone was doing each other, eventually. That thought just grossed me out.

  3. USA_Admiral Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 7:45 pm

    Unbelievable. I went to a very small school. Nothing like that.

  4. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 8:31 pm

    BZ – I’m pretty sure The Fonz got it after banging Pinky Tuscadero. Heh.

    RT – Or as you like to call it, Beverly Hills 90210.

    Admiral – Be neither.

  5. XBradTC Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 8:44 pm

    In case she’s funky, vulcanize your monkey!

  6. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 8:58 pm

    XBradTC – Bawahahahaha! That’s awesome!

  7. GroovyVic Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 9:38 pm

    Milford? I would have guessed my alma mater, Fort LeBoeuf.

    And hey, I was seventeen when I lost my “flower,” so you’re not a loser. I’d say you’re normal.

  8. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 27th, 2008 at 9:55 pm

    GroovyVic – My girlfriend at the time was 17, so . . . Hey, it wasn’t you, was it? :)

  9. Earl Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 7:54 am

    I was twenty before I became Sexually active, my mother put a spell on me so I was supposed to be a good boy. But Pennsylvania didn’t have the progressive Sexual Education courses I understand they have now, back then (1966). So I didn’t know how, did know there were terrible things that could go with the pleasures – pregnancy, STD and getting caught. I wouldn’t change my life for the world, just think of all the modern kids miss by being bored with sex by eighteen… and then they still have a life to live out better, one hopes.

  10. GroovyVic Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 9:50 am

    You wish….!!!!

  11. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 9:51 am

    Earl – I was always worried about pregnancy. Actually, I still am!

    GroovyVic – :P

  12. Voolfie Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 10:53 am

    MILF-ord, Pennsyltucky? Those women should know better.

  13. Ky Person Says:
    June 28th, 2008 at 1:22 pm

    STDs are nothing to laugh about. Even when you think they have gone away, they can cause some serious hurt years in the future.


    I believe in monogamy and fidelity – I am so out of sync with the zeitgeist.

  14. Wyatt Earp Says:
    June 29th, 2008 at 9:29 am

    Voolfie – You’d think so, wouldn’t you?

    Ky person – Hold on a sec . . . I’m looking up the word “zeitgeist.”