SYLG Potpourri
By Wyatt Earp | June 23, 2007
Man, what a day! Work was a bear, I overdid it (as usual) at the gym, and Kyle found out that his first ever hockey season starts on Wednesday. What does that mean to me? Well, after searching the garage for his helmet and gloves, I had to have Fire Boat John saw down his stick and re-tape it to his liking.
For those of you who don’t play hockey, taping a new stick is one of the true pleasures for the average player. For me, it’s stress relief. It’s like another Happy Place – after the rink itself, I mean. Anyway, while spending time in my Happy Place, a few thoughts occurred to me:
1. Attention beautiful, gym gals with perfect bodies: when fat, disgusting, no-talent slobs like me are trying to work out, the last thing we need is to see you parading around in a half-tank-top and short-shorts rolled down from the top!!! I was enjoying me half hour on the elliptical machine – listening to my bitchin‘ mp3 player – until I saw a redhead (A REDHEAD! MY FAVORITE!!) strut by half-naked. I cannot remember the rest of the workout, because I couldn’t keep my eyes off of her. Bitch.
2. I really miss seeing live NASCAR races. Thankfully, that drought is over. My brother Randal Graves invited me to his trip to the NASCAR race in Richmond, Virginia on September 8th! We’ll be busing down – with lots of alcohol – attending the race, spending the night in a hotel, then busing back to Philly on Sunday. I haven’t been to a race in about four years, so I am pretty stoked. (Oh, and if anyone will be at that particular race, and wants to meet a blog superstar like myself, drop me an e-mail.)
3. Support Your Local Gunfighter is only about 750 hits away from 100,000. This scares the hell outta me, but it also means two things: 1. I need to hold a contest, write a special post, or do something half-decent for the occasion, which will probably occur this week. 2. It’s time to ask myself if I should retire this thing after I hit that milestone, a la Alan Woody.
4. I don’t want to sound like a moron – well, more of a moron – but I really want to see Transformers. I know, it sounds really gay, but after seeing the previews, I am definitely hooked. Creepy.
5. I am a really big, fat, disgusting, butt-ugly person. Thankfully, I am hitting the gym more often, and hockey keeps me busy, but I am truly disgusted with the way I look. Morbidly obese would be the terms that I use. God, somebody kill me.
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