By Wyatt Earp | March 29, 2006
Free at last! Free at last! Thank God Almighty, we’re free at last!
After being held hostage for a week, my neighborhood will be set free today with the much anticipated departure of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition. Today is the new home’s unveiling, and by tomorrow, my neighbors and I will be able to return to our quiet lives.
But that’s tomorrow. Today, the missus had to park her car in the street, because the hundreds of slack-jawed yokels who are attending today’s unveiling are taking up all of our parking spaces – and we’re two blocks away! Don’t you people have jobs???
Here are a few final thoughts for Ty and his cavalcade of a-holes:
- The new home, while impressive, looks ridiculous. It is a mammoth two-story dwelling set in an exclusively two-story, split level home neighborhood. This thing sticks out like a sore thumb.
- When you see the show and Ty says how hard he worked, you can yell to the TV that he’s full of crap. Earlier this week, while the others were busting their humps, Ty was on Good Morning America . . . in the studio in New York City.
- Ty and the local news media have been leaking all of the expensive gadgets that will be in the new mansion. I hope EM:HE is installing a security system, since I’m sure some dirtball will try and burglarize the home in the first week. Not only does the home stick out, but the local media have been broadcasting the street address!
- Finally, to the gawkers that have made our lives miserable for the past seven days: get a life! Thank you.