Archive for January, 2006
« Previous EntriesThe Tao Of Jack Bauer
Tuesday, January 31st, 20061. If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Myers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he’d shoot Nina twice. 2. You can lead a horse to water. Jack Bauer can make him drink. 3. If you wake up in the morning, it’s because Jack Bauer spared your life. [...]
Asking For Seconds
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006Whoo hoo! I took second place in GOP and the City’s Weekend Caption Contest! Hopefully, this gets me out of my creative rut, since I haven’t placed higher than fifth in weeks.
The Name Is "Dumas"
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006The cops in my division really know their stuff. And better yet, they know when a toad is full of poop. Such was the case last night, when two officers brought me a doozy of a case. They’re driving down the street at 7pm, when they approach a car with no rear lights. Naturally, they [...]
Idiocy: It’s Not Just For Criminals Anymore
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006Of course, it’s not just the toads with the stupid gene. Sometimes, a police officer’s brain stops firing on all cylinders. Last night, an officer came into the division with a robbery report. There was an arrest on the job, and a victim outside to be interviewed. The officer hands the report to the deskman, [...]
Hill And Ted’s Excellent Adventure
Tuesday, January 31st, 2006Ted Kennedy should stop pontificating about the Alito confirmation. In yesterday’s speech/rant/hangover, Teddy stated the following about the “opposition” (which either means the Republicans or MADD): “[They will shout] ‘Pop the champagne! We pulled one over on them!’” Should Ted Kennedy really be using alcohol-related figures of speech?
It’s Funny ‘Cause She’s A Bitch
Monday, January 30th, 2006I’m still having giggle fits after reading about this America Hater’s “troubles.”Actress Gwyneth Paltrow signed to become a spokesmodel for cosmetics company Estee Lauder, because she was desperate for cash. (Is she really attractive enough to be a spokesperson for Estee Lauder?) The “Slyvia” star shocked fans when she agreed to front a high profile [...]
Happy New Year!
Sunday, January 29th, 2006Well, Chinese New Year, anyway. Welcome to the Year of the Dog. I know Brian is excited.
"I Also Like To Live Dangerously"
Sunday, January 29th, 2006Well, that was damned fun. Last night, my uncle had my brother, sister and cousins over for a “Casino Night.” Much like everything else he does, my Uncle Ray pulls out all the stops for get-togethers. In this case, he recently purchased a combination roulette/craps table, a blackjack table, and a suitcase full of chips. [...]
An Awful Anniversary
Saturday, January 28th, 2006Twenty years ago today, the Space Shuttle Challenger exploded shortly after takeoff, killing all aboard.
"I’ll Take The Blood Pudding Value Meal . . ."
Saturday, January 28th, 2006From The Drudge Report and The Times Online: The Prince of Wales warned the British people last night that they were in danger of becoming as obese as many Americans because they did not walk or cycle enough. The Prince, who has a fleet of chauffeur-driven cars and has rarely if ever been seen in [...]
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