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Ginger . . . Or Mary Ann?

By Wyatt Earp | July 16, 2005

They say no man is an island. For the past four days, however, I have felt like one. The wife and kids trekked to our cousin’s beach house in Sandy Hook, New Joisy, leaving me home alone. (Insert lame Macaulay Culkin joke here.) Since I already had my vacation, I am stuck going to work to feed said family. But I digress.

Since it’s a lazy Saturday morning, and I am battling my loneliness, I figured I would steal any idea that has been batted about for centuries:

What five things would I desire if I was stranded on a desert island? (Sure it’s pointless, but no one reads this thing on weekends!)

And away we go . . .

  • I love reading, especially about history, so the first thing on my list is my copy of Stephen E. Ambrose’s Band of Brothers. I think I have read this book a dozen times, and it never gets stale.
  • Coconut milk would get old really fast, so gimme rum, rum, and more rum! Preferably Captain Morgan. Hell, if I’m stranded, I might as well get drunk, right?
  • Gotta exercise, right? My Nike 260 aluminum ice hockey stick should fit that bill. It was a toss up between the stick and my golf clubs, but I’m a lousy sand player. Besides, knocking stones into the ocean all day would really help my slap shot.
  • Although I’m taking a little poetic license here (since I wouldn’t have a power supply), my 7″ portable DVD player would be a necessity. If that were available, I would only need one movie: the original Star Wars (Episode IV). And forget that “Special Edition” crap. I want the original theatrical version, where Han Solo shoots Greedo first in the cantina. George Lucas really lost me when he “re-worked” that scene!
  • Finally, a man has needs. And companionship is a top priority – especially if I never get off this island. Jessica Biel would do nicely!

Well, there you have it. That’s my list. If anyone is actually reading this drivel, lemme know what you’d like on your island. And none of you wise asses say “a boat!”

Topics: Memes | 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “Ginger . . . Or Mary Ann?”

  1. Dr. Phat Tony Says:
    July 16th, 2005 at 11:42 pm

    liquor, a woman (preferrably with loose morals and tight everything else),a couch, and maybe a grill (everything tastes better grilled.

  2. Wyatt Earp Says:
    July 17th, 2005 at 6:15 am

    Well played, Doc!