Tag Archives: Tampa

Bullets Are Done!

Exploding OvenYou know, the saying “shoot you full of hot lead” refers to a projectile after it is fired; not ones that were heated in an Elmira oven.

A woman cooking herself a snack has been wounded after the bullets her roommate left inside the oven exploded and sprayed her with shrapnel.

Aalaya Walker, 18, preheated the oven of her apartment in Tampa, Florida, on Monday to make herself waffles – not knowing that Javarski ‘JJ’ Sandy, 25, had stashed his pistol magazine with four live rounds in the appliance.

Ms Walker was hit in the chest and the leg by shrapnel from at least one round.

Mr Sandy, who legally owns a .45-caliber Glock 21 semiautomatic pistol, told police he took the magazine out of his gun and put it in the oven. He put the gun itself in a drawer. He never explained to officers why he put the clip with four live rounds in the oven.

I’m no doctor, but it might have something to do with the fact that Sandy is a friggin’ moron. As a result of this story, the Obama administration is crafting legislation to ban ovens.

It’s Not Delivery. It’s A Dog Bowl

Richard Watson

Tampa resident Richard Watson just made the greatest commercial ever for a frozen pizza company. “Our pizza is so delicious, you’ll literally kill to get your hands on one.”

Debra Watson started watching the “12-12-12” benefit concert while her husband was in another room and he joined her after his show was over.

The two then got into a fight about the frozen pizza that was cooked after Richard Watson complained the crust was “raw” and flung his dinner plate on the floor. Debra Watson also threw her plate on the floor in response.

Police say that is when Richard Watson tackled his wife, grabbed her head, and shoved her face into the dog’s water bowl. Debra was able to break free, but then her husband backed her against a corner and tried to strangle her.

I wonder if, before the attack, Watson asked, “What do you want on your Tombstone?”