Tag Archives: Star Wars

Your Weekly Sign Of The Apocalypse

Star Wars Paddle

Regular readers know very few things truly disturb me. I think this makes the list.

Star Wars inspired BDSM Lightsaber flogger and Imperial Sith Paddle for smacking your nerdy butts. So if whipping or getting whipped by your partner in bed crime by BDSM sexy weapons are your thing, check out all of these custom Jedi vs. Sith naked beat down “toys”…

For the first time in my adult life, I am at a loss for words.

Humpday History Highlight

Han Shot First

The greatest tragedy in the history of film-making occurred thirty-five years ago today.

April 3, 1978 – Annie Hall Beats Out Star Wars For Best Picture

The rise of the action-adventure blockbuster was on the horizon, but on this night in 1978, the small-scale romantic comedy triumphs over the big-budget space extravaganza. At the 50th annual Academy Awards, held at the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion in Los Angeles, Woody Allen’s Annie Hall won the Oscar for Best Picture, beating out George Lucas’ Star Wars.

Nowadays, the only thing people remember about Woody Allen is his diddling of Soon-Yi; his stepdaughter. By comparison, most people can name the general who led the AT-AT assault on Hoth.

Fra-Gee-Lay. That Must Be Italian

star-wars-sexy-leg-lamp

That’s not a moon, it’s a leg lamp.

So Christmas is over and people are already back to being their regular jerkbag selves, but before I put Santa to bed here’s the R2-D2/C-3PO lamp built by artist Gordon Tarpley that was inspired by the sexy lady leg lamp in A Christmas Story.

Don’t just stand there; Kessel Run out to get one today!

Yavin Second Thoughts, Mayans?

Yavin IV

On Friday, the Mayan temples in Guatemala may be facing something more destructive than the Death Star. The apocalypse is nigh.

At the center of the rebel base where Luke Skywalker took off to destroy the Death Star and save his people from the clutches of Darth Vader, Guatemala is preparing for another momentous event: the end of an age for the Maya.

Deep inside the Guatemalan rainforest stand the ruins of the Maya temples that George Lucas used to film the planet Yavin 4 in the movie “Star Wars,” from where Skywalker and his sidekick Han Solo launched their attack on the Galactic Empire’s giant space station…

Okay, I’m gonna stop the article right there. What kind of mental defective, mouth-breathing douche canoe would describe Han Solo – easily tied with Boba Fett as the best character in the Star Wars universe – as Luke Skywalker’s “sidekick?” That would be akin to describing Michael Corleone as Fredo’s younger brother.

Cripes, Reuters, if you’re going to write an article with Star Wars references, find someone who knows the difference between a badass smuggler/pirate and a whiny little bitch.

The Battle Of Hoth, Minecraft Style

My two oldest boys are crazy insane for Minecraft. What is Minecraft? The closest I can come to describe it is that it’s like internet Legos. You can make your environments and people, and run around the online world.

While the graphics are old school, you can make some kickass creations. To wit:

This is a video of the Battle of Hoth recreated in Minecraft with the original audio from The Empire Strikes Back. Whoever made it did a good job. Me? I got a “should have been fired years ago” on my most recent peer evaluation here at work.

The video is below the fold. It’s impressive . . . most impressive.

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Use The Board, Luke

Cardboard, that is. It was used to make this awesome homemade snowspeeder sled.

On Hoth, a desolate world covered with ice, the Rebel Alliance used snow speeders as part of their weaponry to defeat Darth Vader. On Earth, a strange world covered with geeks, a film enthusiast has built his own snow speeder – out of cardboard and duct tape.

‘Fortyozjuicebox’ (his web user name) put his creation to the test by using it to sled down a snowy hill in Sleepy Hollow, Iowa, amid much whooping from a small crowd.

And for those who want to replicate his feat of derring-do, he has provided a step-by-step guide to show how he built his vehicle (which took him 25 hours) on website The Chive.

Forget Romney-Obama; I’m voting for this guy in November. At least he’ll be strong on national defense. Click here to see the awesome video.

May The Toys Be With You

So. Freakin’. Brilliant.

Maryland, US-based group Octopus Tree House imagined Star Wars ‘villainous’ characters as cute, innocent kids that seem to not be up to any sort of evil.

In the series of six illustrations: a Bounty Hunter attends a birthday party; Darth Vader tries to set fire to droids with his magnifying glass in a front yard; the Wampa gets a sick day off; Jabba the Hutt goes to the carnival; Darth Sidious attends a pool party; and Tusken Raider Hunter URoRRuR’R'R celebrates.

Check out the rest at the link. I’m partial to the Tusken Raider.