Tag Archives: Michelle Obama

Putting The Cart Before The Coarse

Michelle Obama Shopping At TargetMichelle Obama has launched a new offensive in her Battle of the Bulge. Sadly, the battle will be fought on our shores instead of the cellulite-laden cliffs of Mount Moochellvius.

A new 80-page report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture explains that federal bureaucrats hope to use a variety of tools to modify the way Americans select food items at the supermarket.

The goal is to steer consumers toward fruits and vegetables – and away from sugar- and fat-laden items. The plan is in line with “Michelle Obama’s stated second term agenda to ‘impact the nature of food in grocery stores,’” reports FreeBeacon.com.

While the feds’ plan deals mostly with the 47 million Americans who participate in the government’s food stamp program, it would indirectly affect all consumers.

[T]he federal busybodies want to provide food-stamp shoppers with “incentives” for making healthy food choices – such as discounts or free movie tickets – and even talking shopping carts that will notify them when they’ve selected enough healthy items.

Look, if we didn’t let people make unhealthy food choices, there would be no fat people; and without fat people who would we tease unmercifully until they develop an eating disorder?

Let Them Not Eat Cake

Vica Kerekes Wedding Gown

My newest article is up at USMC, and it deals with Michelle Obama’s healthy food initiative. A Washington school district is taking Obama’s banned food list and cranking it up to eleven.

Washington state’s Edmonds School District has taken Mrs. Obama’s food directives a step further. The district is now releasing guidelines for food items brought to school from home, and they are even more stringent than the initial federal program.

“Birthday parties in classrooms may be celebrated with non-food treats and favors for students. No food is allowed as part of a birthday celebration,” according to a new Edmonds School District policy tied to the federal lunch rules, according to the Herald.

“Appropriate alternatives to food that may be shared on special occasions can be within the procedures,” the district’s website states.

If you can take your eyes off Vica for a moment, the rest of the article can be found here.

FLOTUS Discusses Her “Struggle”

Michelle Obama Stuffing Her FaceIn the wake of Hillary Clinton’s revelation she was “dead broke” when she left the White House, Michelle Obama is now claiming she not only “struggled,” but also had no idea how to feed her chidrens properly.

“Before coming to the White House, I struggled, as a working parent with a traveling, busy husband, to figure out how to feed my kids healthy, and I didn’t get it right,” she explained, sharing a story about her children’s doctor who pulled her aside to talk about her family diet.

“I thought to myself, if a Princeton and Harvard-educated professional woman doesn’t know how to adequately feed her kids, then what are other parents going through who don’t have access to the information I have?” she recalled.

So Moochelle has a public school education and dual degrees from Ivy League schools, but she never learned how to feed her little urchins properly? If that’s the case – and I doubt it is – why would she allow the public schools to feed children now?

10,000 Reasons To Shun This Woman

Michelle Obamas State Dinner Dress

The gown Michelle Obama wore to this week’s state dinner is rumored to be worth over $10,000. The woman wears a $10,000 dress while her husband’s economy is swirling the toilet, but the Republicans are out of touch?

The dress first lady Michelle Obama wore at [Tuesday] night’s state dinner was the topic of discussion last night on CNN. One guest thought the cost of the dress was close to $10,000.

“Some people might call it periwinkle and it’s got this sort of jet bodice and everything, and I think it’s really pretty. But a dress like that from Mrs. Herrera could potentially run up to almost $10,000.”

Another guest on CNN last night thought the cost was about $12,000. “Well, by the way, I think that dress probably cost around $12,000. But that’s just my guess,” said Sally Quinn.

The worst part is the dress isn’t even flattering. I’m not trying to be snarky here, but look at her face. It seems as if she’s had some work done, but sadly, it hasn’t improved her features.

Michelle Obama Wants More Of Your Money

Grunting Michelle ObamaThe First Lady is requesting donations to help the Democrats defend Obamacare. Is defending approved legislation now “a thing?” If so, I would like to raise money to defend leftists’ abortion rights.

First lady Michelle Obama is seeking $10 donations to protect Obamacare, her husband’s troubled health insurance system:

“Earlier this month, because of what you did, it became illegal for insurance companies to discriminate against the up to 129 million Americans living with pre-existing conditions. Young Americans are able to stay on their parents’ health care plans as they get on their feet, and we can now know that our insurance companies won’t put lifetime caps on our coverage.

That happened because you organized, you talked to your friends and neighbors, and you chipped in what you could, when you could, to elect Barack and a Congress who supported his agenda.

Today, I’m asking you to do it again. So before Barack gives his State of the Union address tomorrow, chip in $10 or more and help protect Obamacare.”

It’s bad enough the “president” is endlessly campaigning; now this shrew has to join in? I’d like to know where these donations are going, because I suspect they are lining this family’s pockets.

The Prisoner

Michelle Obama Angry Black Woman

Michelle Obama believes living in the White House is akin to being a prisoner. She knows she can leave any time, right?

First Lady Michelle Obama on Tuesday described living in the White House as like being in a “really nice prison.”

Obama’s comment came during her discussion with former First Lady Laura Bush at the African First Ladies Summit in Tanzania during an interview moderated by journalist Cokie Roberts.

“There are some prison elements to it,” she joked. “But it’s a really nice prison. You can’t complain,” Michelle Obama admitted. “But there is definitely elements that are confining.”

“You can’t complain… but I’m going to anyway, because I’m a classless bint.”

This reminds me of the stories you hear from celebrities about how difficult their life has become after achieving fame and fortune. “I have no privacy! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home to my gated mansion which is protected by armed guards.”

Gawd, I hate this woman.

FLOTUS Threatens To Take Her Ball And Go Home

Michelle Obama Heckled

Apparently, Michelle Antoinette is as thin-skinned as her husband.

First lady Michelle Obama was met with a heckler Tuesday evening at a Democratic National Committee event in Washington, D.C. A gay rights activist standing near the front of the audience began shouting for an executive order on gay rights.

“One of the things I don’t do well is this,” Obama responded to approval from the audience.

The pool reported that Obama left the lectern toward the protestor saying that they could “listen to me or you can take the mic, but I’m leaving. You all decide. You have one choice.”

Wait, I thought the Obamas were all for gay rights? I guess that was election year rhetoric, too.

Not surprisingly, the White House edited out her empty threat from the official transcript. We can’t have the First Lady appear petulant now, can we?

Let’s Move Michelle Obama Back To Chicago

Michelle Obama Lets MoveFirst “Lady” Michelle Obama is encouraging parents to get creative when promoting exercise in war zones.

Personally, I think there is no better cardio workout than dodging bullets.

First lady Michelle Obama said Monday that kids living in unsafe neighborhoods should find creative ways to exercise indoors.

“We as the community, the adults surrounding these kids, we’ve got to get creative. I would encourage parents that if they also find themselves in a situation where they can’t get outside, then let’s figure out what we can do indoors because it doesn’t take the great outdoors to be moving every day.”

“I feel like there are a lot of communities here in America … where a mother doesn’t feel comfortable sending her child out to [play] when there is that specter of danger around,” the parent told Obama in the Google Hangout.

Whose fault is that, Michelle? Her husband’s policies have decimated this country’s economy, an unemployment is skyrocketing. The result has been an increase in crime, especially in inner cities like Chicago. If you want kids to exercise outdoors, how about you ask your husband to readdress his destructive fiscal policies? Until then, kindly STFU.

The gall of this woman amazes me.

Caption Contest Winners

Michelle and barack Obama Fist Pump

The Fister Roboto Caption Contest is now over.

Top Five Entries:
5. Barry cringes as he never wins at Rock, Paper, Scissors, Wookie, Spock. – Rodney Dill
4. MO – Right On! BO – I don’t think that Burrito was fresh. – Jim
3. The Klingon guttural war cry in action. – CO-MC-50
2. Barry tried to channel his inner Huey Newton, but all he could manage was Huey Lewis… – Proof

WINNER! – “Death to America!” – Jon Brooks

Weekend Caption Contest

Michelle and barack Obama Fist Pump

Fister Roboto Caption Contest
(Source: USA Today)

Caption this photo in the comments section or e-mail me your photoshop entries. The winners will be posted on Monday, February 4th. Good luck!

Original Caption: Fist pump! President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama cheer as bands march past the president’s reviewing stand near the White House.

Other Current Contests:
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Rodney Dill