Tag Archives: Cleveland

Cleveland Steamed At Its Mayor

Vica-Kerekes-Feet

Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson is an idiot. He is also a guy who wants to take away your Second Amendment rights. Jackson was the topic of my latest article at USMC:

Cleveland Mayor Frank Jackson has unveiled a group of new firearms laws which he believes will reduce violence in the city. The proposals, some of which can be found below, are already drawing criticism from the Buckeye Firearms Association (BFA). Jim Irvine, Chair of the BFA, said the organization will fight the new laws, and sue the city, if necessary.

Some of the more controversial proposals include the following:

- A Gun Offender Registry. Anyone convicted of a gun offense will be required to register with the police within 48 hours of sentence or release. The registration will include identifying information, including name, addresses of residence, work, and school, drivers’ license or ID card, and description of offense. [Registrant must follow up with police once per year.] The offender must stay on the registry for four years after the initial registration.

You know the drill. Read the rest here, or look at Vica. The choice is yours.

The White Flag Must Have Come Out

Lauren Block Cleveland Stripper

UPDATE: Lauren died today (1-8). All joking aside, my prayers are going out for her family.

Because this was most likely Lauren Block’s last lap . . . dance.

A 22-year-old stripper is fighting for her life after she fell head first off a 15-foot balcony while performing a lap dance. The stripper, identified as Lauren Block, suffered major head trauma after plunging from the balcony of Christie’s Cabaret in Cleveland, Ohio.

Pasquale Storino was the man that she was giving a lap dance to at the time. Storino told Cleveland police the employee attempted a tricky dance move before she tumbled over the railing on the second floor of the strip club.

“He stated that she grabbed the rail, as he was facing away from the balcony, and she tried to complete some sort of dance/jump move, and accidentally went head first over the rail.”

In fairness, Storino should have received a refund for the lap dance. Well, either that or five minutes alone with her in the hospital.

Yes, I denounce myself.

Field Of Bugs

Oh great. Yet another reason to never visit Cleveland . . .

CLEVELAND (AP) — Joba Chamberlain was really bugged.

A swarm of insects invaded Jacobs Field in the eighth inning Friday, creating havoc in the playoff game between the New York Yankees and Cleveland Indians.

With the Yankees ahead 1-0, the bugs clearly affected Chamberlain and helped the Indians tie the game. Bug spray did little good — Chamberlain’s neck, face and hat were covered with the bugs, and he tried to spit them out of his mouth.

Almost everyone was affected by the cloud, with players on both teams and the umpires trying in vain to swat them away. (H/TYahoo! Sports)

Authorities stated that the bugs were merely a ploy by Sheldon Plankton to once again to steal Jacobs Field’s world-renowned Krabby Patty.

“Yeah, baby! I finally got it!!”