Category Archives: Star Wars

You’ve Never Heard Of The Millennium Falcon?

Millennium Falcon

Harrison Ford won’t be making the Kessel Run – or any kind of run – for a long time.

Harrison Ford may have to be filmed from the waist up after breaking his ankle on the set of Star Wars: Episode VII. The 71-year-old suffered the break last Thursday after one of the hydraulic doors of the spacecraft Millennium Falcon fell on him and he had to be airlifted to the trauma unit at John Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford.

It is thought that as well as fracturing his ankle, he may also have suffered further injuries to his chest and pelvis – although he is said to be awaiting results of further tests to confirm the extent of any damage.

Ford is expected to be off set for 6-8 weeks while his ankle – and that stupid earring – heal.

I Am A Star Wars Dummy

I thought I knew a lot about Star Wars. I really did. I have younger brothers who had every action figure, vehicle, bed sheets and watched every movie (repeatedly). I live with two of the BIGGEST Star Wars geeks on the face of the earth. I thought I knew everything.

I did not. I found a video with 29 little known facts. How many did you know?

Boy’s Final Wish Is A Star Wars Funeral

Jack Robinson's Star Wars FuneralNo words after seeing this. No words. Just read on…

In heartbreaking news, these are photos of 4-year old Jack Robinson’s Star Wars themed funeral. Because life isn’t fair in the least, Jack, of Hampshire, England, was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor and developed a bucket list of things he’d like to do before passing. Having his parents organize a Star Wars themed funeral was the last. Here, I’m just going to copy/paste while I excuse myself for a second.

His carriage was covered floral tributes, including one reading ‘Jedi’ and wreaths in the shape of a lightsaber, Yoda and R2-D2.

Inside the church a brass band played the film’s The Binary Sunset music – known as Luke Skywalker’s theme – and the order of service read: “Master Jack Robinson, joined the force 1st April 2014.”

Jack also got to ride in a firetruck as an early birthday present, meet singer Gary Barlow, and had a personal video message sent to him by the 11th Doctor, Matt Smith (who also sang him the show’s theme song). Rest in peace, Jack. (H/TSmite)

Wow, that’s just… wow.

Falcon Quest

Millennium FalconThere are a few things you need to know before climbing aboard this blog. First, expect snrak and sarcasm – otherwise known as snarkasm® – aplenty.

Second, I like redheads, red highlights, and Red Bulls and Jägermeister.

Finally, and most importantly, the Millennium Falcon is far and away the best vehicle in the Star Wars universe. Only Star Destroyers come close. If you don’t agree, 1. You’re a f**king idiot, 2. Get the f**k off my blog, and 3. You’re a f**king idiot.

If you do agree, set your faces to stunned.

Word around the camp fire in a galaxy far, far away is that the Rebel Alliance (in this case Disney and Lusasfilm) is building a brand new, full scale Millennium Falcon for the next installment of the epic saga – Star Wars: Episode VII.

According to Yahoo, the ship (that managed the Kessel Run in less than twelve parsecs) may have already rolled off the production line at Pinewood Studios in Buckinghamshire.

Personally, I’ll be happy if they get the pronunciation right. It’s fowl-con, not fall-con.

Look Sir, ‘Roids!

Stormtrooper Workout

For a couple weeks now, I have been walking during the kids’ soccer/lacrosse/track practices. At least four miles, mostly every day. It’s helping relieve the stress – of which I have a lot – and hopefully, will help me lose a few pounds before bikini season. Kyle and Erik are playing Beach Blast – a soccer tourney on the Wildwood, NJ beach – in June, and I don’t want people to break out the harpoons.

So when I saw this, I had to post it; if for nothing else but the geek factor.

This is a huge series (there’s almost 30 more after the jump) of superhero, television, movie and video game inspired workouts designed by fitness blogger Neila Rey. There’s something for everyone, she’s got Game of Thrones, Avengers, Minecraft, Assassin’s Creed, Aquaman, Wolverine, Blade Runner, James Bond, Skyrim, Hunger Games — you name it. Now there’s no excuse not to work out! Except you’re lazy and unmotivated.

Cut to scene of Smite breaking out his workout gear…

Almost Rare, Almost Rare…

Star Wars Grilling EquipmentSpring is just around the corner, and if you’re a Star Wars nerd like me, these lightsaber-themed tongs are for you.

If you’ve been searching for the perfect grilling accessory for your Bantha burger cookouts, take a look at these: “Star Wars” Lightsaber BBQ Tongs from The Fowndry. These geeky tongs are modeled after Darth Vader’s own lightsaber hilt from “A New Hope.”

These officially licensed lightsaber tongs have a removable transparent red cover and even make the signature sound effect that left many a Jedi quaking in his boots. Conveniently, though, these lightsaber tongs are powered by AA batteries instead of the Force. (H/TSmite)

These are just the thing to piss off the wife, er, I mean, get your BBQ rolling.

We’ve Spotted Imperial Rockers!

AT-AT Rocking HorseSome enterprising young geeks made a necessary modification to the average rocking horse. It is, in a word, unbelievably awesome and kickass!

AT-AT walkers generally don’t make good house guests. They’re large, messy, and prone to shooting at things with their laser canons. Jen Yates, known for geeky blogs Epbot and Cake Wrecks, figured out how to tame an AT-AT by building a rocking version of the robotic creature.

The AT-AT shape doesn’t naturally lend itself to a rocking-horse format, so the builders had to add several safety features to make it secure for a 4-year-old test subject to ride. That includes foot pedals, a front handle, and a seat back. Bumpers built onto the bottom of the rails keep it from rocking too far forward or back. (H/TSmite)

I swear to Vishnu, if I wasn’t snipped, I’d be working on another child right this instant!

Walker, Denmark Ranger

Imperial WalkersAfter the horror stories coming out of Sochi – missing toilet seats, stolen pillows, etc. – it’s hard to imagine anything has gone right there. That’s why this story is so spot-on.

Finding the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics rather dull? Add some AT-AT walkers from “Star Wars” shooting lasers at downhill skiers and you have a sport worth watching.

This “Star Wars” – Sochi 2014 Winter Olympics mashup video aired on TV2 Denmark’s show “Natholdet med Anders Breinholt” (Night Shift with Anders Breinholt), with humorous results. You don’t need to speak the language to appreciate AT-AT’s attacking unsuspecting Olympic athletes. (H/TSmite)

The video is below the fold. It’s high-larious.

Continue reading

Online Auctions: They’re A Blast

Han Solos DL-44 Heavy Blaster PistolThe blaster used by Han Solo in the original Star Wars trilogy is being put to auction on December 21st.

You know, if you guys pool your money together, you could win your favorite blogger the ultimate Christmas present.

The Mauser-style pistol that Harrison Ford’s character Han Solo used in “Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back” and “The Return of the Jedi” is up for sale to the highest bidder, online auctioneers Invaluable said Wednesday.

Looking a bit worse for wear after its intergalactic adventures, the so-called DL-44 Blaster — which Ford used in the two 1980s blockbuster movies — is estimated to be worth $200,000 to $300,000.

More specifically, it’s a BlasTech DL-44 heavy blaster pistol featuring sight adjustments, an air cooling vent, and a stun setting. Any prospective buyer who cannot recite these basic components is not a serious bidder.

“The blaster is exactly in its original filming condition and therefore exhibits wear from use, but retains all of the original details, including the flash suppressor and scope,” it said. (H/T – L-Frame)

If I had the money, I would guarantee I’d be bringing it home. You cannot put a price on something like this, and i would gladly overpay for it. That said, it will probably go to some filthy rich douchebag who never heard of IG-88 and believes Greedo shot first.