Category Archives: Duct Tape Advisory

Jesus Loves You

Terrorists? Not so much. But don’t tell that to Martha Mullen…

The Virginia woman whose actions led to Boston Marathon bombing suspect Tamerlan Tsarnaev being buried about 30 miles north of her Richmond home said the angry backlash from local officials, some cemetery neighbors and online critics has been unpleasant, but she has no regrets.

“I can’t pretend it’s not difficult to be reviled and maligned,” Martha Mullen [said]. “But any time you can reach across the divide and work with people that are not like you, that’s what God calls us to do.”

Tsarnaev, 26, was quietly buried Thursday at a small Islamic cemetery in rural Caroline County. His body had remained at a Worcester, Mass., funeral parlor since he was killed April 19 in a gunfight with police, days after the bombings that killed three and injured more than 260 in downtown Boston. Cemeteries in Massachusetts and several other states refused to accept the remains.

I really want to argue with Mullen about this, but she’s right; Jesus would want someone to accept and bury Tsarnaev’s remains. Mullen is a better person than I am.

“Soldiers Of Christ” Is Just A Phrase

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The Pennsylvania Army Reserve showed this graphic (click to embiggen) during a training session. The graphic lists Catholics and Evangelicals under the heading “Religious Extremism.”

I’ve never been more proud of my commonwealth.

This is one for the “too stupid to survive” files: U.S. Army Labeled Evangelicals, Catholics as Examples of Religious Extremism.

I invite you to look at the accompanying poster for the Equal Opportunity training brief issued by the Army Reserve in Pennsylvania. It lists “extremist” groups, starting with “Evangelical Christianity” at Number One, “Al Quaeda” (misspelled under any Roman rendering of Arabic) at Number Five, “Hamas” at Six, and “Catholicism” rounding out the Top Ten.

When Major Hasan got a case of Pre-Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and opened fire at Fort Hood standing on a table yelling “Allahu Akbar!”, it was just the luck of the draw: He could have been shouting the Angelus. Best to prepare for all eventualities.

My only – only – respite from this is the hope the reservists treated the training the way police officers do: with inattention and contempt.

Google. What’s The Point?

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I’m trying not to get angry on Easter Sunday, but stories like this make it nearly impossible.

For the two or three people who don’t already know; Google has an agenda, and it usually runs counter to the mainstream.

On Easter Sunday, Google is honoring the birthday of the late labor organizer Cesar Chavez by placing a Chavez portrait within the middle “o” of the Google logo that appears on the homepage of the popular search engine.

While Google frequently decorates its logo to celebrate various holidays and special events, it is unclear why the company chose specifically to honor Chavez’s birthday, instead of Easter Sunday.

In the grand scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal. But with more than two billion Christians celebrating Easter Sunday, it is another example of how tone-deaf Google has become.

Apparently, It’s Not Better In The Bahamas

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According to the “president,” the sequester has hurt millions of American families: otherwise known as “the little people.”

Thankfully, Sasha and Malia Obama are not part of the little people, and they have ended their vacation in the Bahamas… to go skiing in Sun Valley, Idaho.

“In an exclusive photo obtained by Idaho’s First News, you can see the First Daughters, Malia and Sasha Obama skiing at River Run. The Sun Valley Ski Patrol confirms the girls were enjoying the wonders of the mountain. We also received unconfirmed reports the daughters were staying at Thunder Spring in Sun Valley,” reports KMVT.

Earlier, it was reported that the Obama daughters were at a resort in the Bahamas for Spring Break. Both reports could be true: The Obama daughters could have spent the first half of the week in the Bahamas, before leaving the sun for the Idaho snow.

Meanwhile, the White House remains closed to the public, as the Secret Service is said to lack the funds necessary to keep the building open to all.

In fairness, the Bahamas gets boring after a couple of days. Or something.

It’s bad enough their father uses our tax dollars as his own personal vacation fund. Do we really have to sit back while his daughters traipse from paradise to paradise?

Your Feel-Good Story Of The Week

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If you’re worried about the dreadful economy, a nuclear-armed Iran, or the prospect of another Adam Sandler movie, I have some good news. We’ll all be dead by dawn.

Officials say a vial containing a virus that can cause hemorrhagic fever has gone missing from a research facility in Galveston, but say there’s no reason to believe there’s a threat to the public.

Yeah, why would hemorrhagic fever be a threat to the public?

The University of Texas Medical Branch said Saturday that there was no breach in the security its Galveston National Laboratory and no indication of wrongdoing. Officials suspect the missing vial containing the Guanarito virus was destroyed during the lab’s cleaning process but the investigation continues.

The Guanarito virus? I think that’s what killed Curly from the Three Stooges!

You’re Only As Old As You Feel

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The problem arises when you’re feeling old… people.

Grey-haired singles are happily recharging their love lives online as each one averages 10 messages a month from potential partners and gets their profiles checked out 50 times every 30 days.

And the fun leaps right from the computer into the bedroom. Seniors are catching STDs at record rates; the number of 50, 60 and 70 year olds getting chlamydia, syphilis and gonorrhea doubled in the past decade. The US Center for Disease Control and Prevention reports cases of chlamydia and syphilis in older kin ballooning to more than 19,000 and 2,500.

These numbers wouldn’t be so immense if the seniors were told Ben Gay is not a spermicidal cream.

Now, try and go about the rest of your day without vomiting. You’re welcome.

Today’s Sign Of The Apocalypse

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In Obama’s America, you can insult and denigrate Christians to your heart’s content. But insults – or even perceived insults – to Islam or Muslims is strictly verboten.

The Virginia Department of Motor Vehicles says an Iraq war veteran’s personalized license plate encourages violence and is vulgar.

Sean Bujno’s plate reads: “ICUHAJI,” which can be read to state: “I See You, Haji.” Some Arab-Americans object to that phrase.

A circuit court judge ruled last November that the DMV couldn’t deny the Chesapeake man’s license on the basis that it denigrated individuals of a particular nationality. But in a letter sent to Bujno by the DMV, the agency signaled the battle over the plate might not be over.

Why do I get the feeling an “FJESUS” license plate would be more than acceptable to these over-officious jerks?

Obama Ends Federal Pay Freeze

Taxpayers across America are worrying about the tax raises that will be implemented if when we go over the fiscal cliff. It’s a difficult time for most families, who will have to scrape up another $2,000+ for the gubmint.

Luckily, the “president” is addressing your concerns… by giving some politicians a pay raise.

Change.

President Barack Obama issued an executive order to end the pay freeze on federal employees, in effect giving some federal workers a raise. One federal worker now to receive a pay increase is Vice President Joe Biden.

According to disclosure forms, Biden made a cool $225,521 last year. After the pay increase, he’ll now make $231,900 per year.

Members of Congress, from the House and Senate, also will receive a little bump, as their annual salary will go from $174,000 to 174,900. Leadership in Congress, including the speaker of the House, will likewise get an increase.

This f**king guy is more tone deaf than William Hung.

Twinkie The Kid, 1930-2012

If you, like me, are a fan of Twinkies, today is a sad day.

Hostess, the parent company of Twinkies, Ding Dongs, and Wonder Bread, announced it was going out of business today after an 82-year run. If you want someone to blame, look squarely at the unions; because they’re the only people in America who think the economy is doing fine.

Hostess is going out of business after striking workers failed to heed a Thursday deadline to return to work, the company said.

“We deeply regret the necessity of today’s decision, but we do not have the financial resources to weather an extended nationwide strike,” Hostess CEO Gregory F. Rayburn said in announcing that the firm had filed a motion with the U.S. Bankruptcy Court to shutter its business. “Hostess Brands will move promptly to lay off most of its 18,500-member workforce and focus on selling its assets to the highest bidders.”

Hostess informed the unions that if the workers didn’t come back, they would have to close their doors. The unions responded with a figurative “F**k you” . . .

Continue reading →

Ironically, Pepto Bismol Is Also Pink

An article from Business Insider revealed that almost all of the profits from NFL Breast Cancer Awareness merchandise actually goes to the ACS.

The rest goes into the pockets of the team owners; the real boobs in this story.

The NFL’s involvement in Breast Cancer Awareness month has come under fire after claims the league is profiting from the cause. Players have been wearing pink caps, shirts, elbow pads, and boots and flashes of the color have adorned towels and parts of the field throughout October across the U.S.

Business Week discovered that only 5 per cent of the sales are being donated to the American Cancer Society. If the products have a typical 100 per cent mark-up at retail point, that means the NFL is keeping 90 per cent of the profit from the sale of the items.

This would mean that for every $100 in sales of pink products, $3.54 goes towards research while the NFL keeps approximately $45.

Disgusting, but not surprising. Remember this when you feel the need to purchase something pink from this fraud organization.

Support Your Local Gunfighter

Boosting the demand for brain bleach.