Author Archives: Wyatt Earp

Weekend Caption Contest

Red Beret Training

He Wore A Raspberry Beret Caption Contest
(Source: Yahoo!)

Caption this photo in the comments section or e-mail me your photoshop entries. The winners will be posted on Monday, May 27th. Good luck!

Original Caption: Servicemen from the Interior Ministry’s special unit run through an obstacle course as they take part in a test near the village of Gorany, some 32 km west of Minsk, May 21, 2013. Servicemen have to pass several tough tests before being awarded entry to the ministry’s elite “Red Beret” unit.

Other Current Contests:
Right Pundits
Rodney Dill

You’ve Got To Know When To Holder…

Eric Holder DismissalYesterday, the “president” claimed he is concerned about the DoJ’s targeting of journalists, and wants Eric Holder to investigate. Holder approved the search warrant that seized the e-mails of Fox News reporter James Rosen.

So Obama is ordering Eric Holder to investigate… Eric Holder.

President Obama is a little uneasy with the way journalists have been dragged into the Justice Department’s aggressive pursuit of national security leak investigations. In fact, he has ordered Attorney General Eric Holder to conduct a 45-day review of the department’s guidelines on the issue.

That bit of news was buried in the middle of the president’s hour-long speech today at National Defense University.

And then the news: “I have raised these issues with the attorney general, who shares my concern. So he has agreed to review existing Department of Justice guidelines governing investigations that involve reporters, and will convene a group of media organizations to hear their concerns as part of that review. And I have directed the attorney general to report back to me by July 12th.”

Kabuki theater, my friends. This is all kabuki theater.

Have A Great F**king Weekend

Fucking Austria street signMy good friend Easily Lost apparently spends her days surfing Google Earth and Mapquest for funny place names.

Thankfully, she’s pretty f**king good at it. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Fucking, Austria.

It is believed that the settlement was founded in the 6th century by Focko, a Bavarian nobleman. The existence of the village was documented for the first time in 1070 and historical records show that some twenty years later the lord was Adalpertus de Fucingin.

The spelling of the name has evolved over the years; it is first recorded in historical sources with the spelling as Vucchingen in 1070, Fukching in 1303, Fugkhing in 1532, and in the modern spelling Fucking in the 18th century, which is pronounced with the vowel oo as in book. The ending -ing is an old Germanic suffix indicating the people belonging to the root word to which it is attached, thus Fucking means “(place of) Focko’s people.”

My mother’s side of the family has some roots in Austria. Considering my (and Dr. Evil’s) personality, I wouldn’t be surprised if our ancestors ran that town.

May I Czech Your ID?

Homer Simpson Beer Pyramid

You gotta hand it to the Czech Republic; they make Kentuckians look like pikers.

Czech police found a million liters of illegal alcohol hidden in underground tanks in one of the biggest seizures of untaxed booze ever.

Police have been chasing a widespread web of untaxed alcohol makers and distributors since a batch that included poisonous methyl alcohol killed 45 people and forced the government to ban all liquor sales for several weeks in September last year.

A spokesman said officers found the illicit booze at several unused industrial sites around the steel-making and mining center of Ostrava, in the eastern Czech Republic near Polish and Slovak borders, and at a site near the northern German border.

The Czech Republic is one of Europe’s heaviest drinking countries, and the world’s leader in per-capita beer consumption of around 140 liters per year.

Damned right! We like to party… because everything in the former Czechoslovakia is gray.

Britain-y Fears

Imma Let You FinishRemember the gold old days when England was the most powerful and feared nation on Earth? They kicked ass, took names, and practically ruled the civilized world.

Now they disarm their soldiers and cower to Islamists.

Security was tight this morning at the army barracks near the scene of yesterday’s killing.

The Ministry of Defence said: “As a result of the incident in Woolwich, a number of additional security measures have been put in place. As you would expect, we would not talk about the details of these measures.”

Troops in London were advised in the immediate aftermath of yesterday’s attack not to wear their uniforms outside their bases.

The Ministry of Defence came to their senses this morning, and rescinded the advisory, but the fact that their first thought was to cower to Islamist animals saddens and sickens me.

Tighten Your Grip

Sandra GalAnd as always, watch your stance. Come to think of it, let’s watch the stance of the ten hottest women in golf

While not purely on the subject of sports equipment, all of these beautiful ladies started their careers with a cut down set of their parents clubs. So here you go! The Top 10 Hottest Women Golfers (in no particular order).

9. Gal tied for 14th in the 2007 LPGA Final Qualifying Tournament to earn full playing privileges on the LPGA in 2008; she turned professional immediately following the tournament. In her fourth season on the LPGA Tour in 2011, Gal won her first event at the Kia Classic in late March. She finished the 72-hole event at 16-under-par, one stroke ahead of runner-up Jiyai Shin Previously her best finish had been fifth at the 2009 LPGA Corning Classic. Also in 2009, she recorded two career-low rounds of 64. (H/T – Rick)

How Gal only came in at #9 is beyond me. I figured she’d be better suited at #6. Heh.

Humpday History Highlight

Annika SorenstamMay 21, 2003 – Annika Sorenstam Makes History

On May 22, 2003, golfer Annika Sorenstam becomes the first woman to play in a PGA tour event since Babe Didrikson 58 years earlier, after receiving a sponsor’s exemption to compete in the Bank of America Colonial in Fort Worth, Texas.

At the 2003 Colonial in Fort Worth, Sorenstam measured herself against the best players on the men’s side for the first time. With the exception of Vijay Singh, who stirred controversy saying Sorenstam had “no business” on the course, she was a popular presence with players and fans alike. Her galleries were by far the biggest in the tournament, numbering 50,000 people at times. On her first day, Sorenstam shot a 71, just one over par, putting herself in contention to make the cut and play for the championship. On the second day, she shot a four-over 74, leaving her five-over for the first two days, and missing the cut by four shots. She left the course to a standing ovation.

Of course, the standing ovation was from guys like me who always thought Annika was a hot little Swedish meatball who I’d like to fondue.

Chagrin Lizzy

Moore Oklahoma Tornado

A devastating tornado wiped out the city of Moore, Oklahoma on Monday, killing 24 and injuring almost 300. Luckily, The Daily Show’s co-creator Lizz Winstead was there to bring teh funneh.

Lizz Winstead Assclown Tweet

The mile-wide tornado that destroyed Moore, Okla., and leveled at least two elementary schools was still weaving a path of devastation when Daily Show co-creator Lizz Winstead thought up a funny. Too soon? (H/T – Ray R.)

In fairness, Winstead’s just bitter because God didn’t love her enough to make her pretty.

Heckuva Job, Squidward!

Philadelphia Convict Job FairPhiladelphia hosted a job fair for ex-cons on Friday, and the fair was soon canceled after 3,000 convicts showed up.

I don’t know what’s worse; the fact that the city held a job fair for thugs (and not law-abiding citizens) or that we have 3,000 ex-cons roaming our streets.

The City of Philadelphia shut down a career fair for ex-offenders today after an unexpected crowd of thousands showed up, résumés in hand. There were lots of disappointed job seekers and potential employers this morning.

The city was expecting about 1,000 people to show up, but about three times that number were standing in a line that wrapped around the Municipal Services Building, across from City Hall. And when someone jumped the line, order collapsed.

Everett Gillison, the deputy mayor for public safety, says the space designated for the event could not handle the crowd, so they closed it down shortly after it began.

“People want jobs,” said one man. “In the city right now, with jobs it’s just ridiculous trying to find one. It’s almost impossible.” (H/TJim)

Whose fault is that, slapnuts? I’m sure this fine, upstanding citizen doesn’t blame the Democrats, who have enjoyed 70+ years of uninterrupted rule. I know, it’s Boooooooooosh’s fault!

Redefining The Term “Link Pimping”

My good friend Smite was checking over his blog stats the other day. Normally, search engine results are boring and over-generalized, like “motorcycles.” For Smite, of course, there is always a twist.

While looking up his results from search engines, her found this…

Smite Porn

Okay, what the frak is “smite porn,” and is Smite personally involved? I wouldn’t think watching a guy impale hippies… Oh wait, now I get it.