Seattle Vs. Denver, More Than A Football Game

seavsdenI do not know Wyatt’s status and computer situation, so I thought I’d start a little series leading up to the big game. Denver Vs. Seattle, the illustrious Smoke-A-Bowl (see what I did there?) Yes, Mary Jane is legal in both cities. But what else can these two bring to the table and battle out?

In part one of my little series of Denver vs. Seattle, I will take a look at some of Seattle’s best vs. Denver’s best. Consider this maybe a three-parter.

Day one: The Greatest Rap One Hit Wonder! Seattle’s Booty vs. Denver’s Lost and Found.

In this epic Super Bowl battle, the Broncos offense is the unstoppable juggernaut while Seattle’s defense is the immovable object. But when the two teams take to the gridiron, a champion will emerge as to who has the greatest one hit wonder in rap history! While I normally care about rap about as much as I do Zero and Moo-chelle’s impending divorce, the songs are too great to ignore.

In May 1992, Seattle native and lyrical maestro, Sir Mix A Lot released “I Like Big Butts.” This groundbreaking song lets us know who we can trust in life. Guys who like big butts, for they cannot lie. The same can be said about Shakira’s hips. They are the only two things on this world that can be trusted point blank, every time. The song fascinated a nation that was depressed from Nirvana and Pearl Jam (also a Seattle native) songs. It also made it cool for girls to have a fat ass. Unless they are white. Thank you Sir Mix A Lot (no relation to Super Bowl great, Ronnie) for enthralling us with large posteriors, and making it ok for the butt (the breasts’ only natural enemy) to be displayed.

In May 1993, a year to the day later, Denver natives Tag Team released, “Whoop! There it is!” This great one hit wonder gave me something to say every time I found something. The remote controller, my keys, a G-spot… thankfully I now know exactly what to say. Whoop. Shaka-Laka. I shall forever be indebted to you, Tag Team.

Clearly these songs have become pop culture mainstays, and not footnotes like “My Sharona.” They can be heard throughout sports venues, movies, and advertisements all the time. Clearly, they are both One Hit Wonders. Though Sir Mixy is still trying. Tag Team is not; they have taken their royalties and are living the sweet life. In this epic Super Bowl, we can finally have the answer to which is the greatest one hit wonder in rap history!

Personally, like the game itself, I go for Seattle. Sir Mix a Lot and the Legion of Boom. You have been warned Denver! But please, feel free to weigh in. Who wins the game? What is the greatest Rap one hitter? And anything else you can compare the two cities for. I have never been to either…

Up Next: Likely on Monday as I will be away for the weekend: Starbucks vs. Coors. Pisswater vs Hipsters. There is actually a battle here…

8 thoughts on “Seattle Vs. Denver, More Than A Football Game

  1. Jim Scrummy

    Whoa…! Ripping on “The Knack” and My Sharona is fightin’ words! To me it mark the end of the blighted era of music called Disco, in 1979. Sure The Knack were one-hit wonders, but I loved playing my drum kit to My Sharona.

    As far as the game goes, I’ll be pulling for the horseys. Nothing against Seattle and that whole Sherman thingy (he talks the talk and backs it up), just like the Broncos for this one.

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  2. Ferrell Gummitt

    Dr. Evil: Will there also be a conversation about of who had the better retro uniform? And lets say the San Diego Chargers move back to Los Angeles. The NFL would probably make them an NFC team. Would the Seahawks then be headed back to the AFC a la how the Houston Astros were sent to the American League in Baseball?

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  3. Dr. Evil Post author

    Wyatt: Thanks, I learned from the best…Captain America
    Scrummy: I just hate the song, and can never root for Denver as they have Peyton manning. And Wyatt likes them.

    Bob: Way to not vote! A democrat was just re-elected.

    Ferrell: Good call Tone Loc, but nowhere near as immense as Big Butts and Whoop! Oy..the LA situation. Here goes: The city of San Diego will buckle and give the Chargers a new (and needed) stadium. Jacksonville then moves to LA. The NFL puts the LA team in the NFC West, and moves the St. Louis Rams to the AFC South. Geographically closer to Hou, Ind, and Tenn.

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  4. Easily Lost

    Rap and song in the same sentence. I think someone was sampling Colorado’s finest stash.
    As for My Sharona being a footnote, such blasphemy! You just be glad Wyatt is a Copper, and I live 1000 miles away, or one of us would be in a world of pain.
    As for the Smokebowl, I plan to push for Denver, just because Seattle is much closer to Canada, and I blame them for this craptastic weather we have been having. (Not to mention I have been to Denver several times, and fell in love with the state)

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