I do not know Wyatt’s status and computer situation, so I thought I’d start a little series leading up to the big game. Denver Vs. Seattle, the illustrious Smoke-A-Bowl (see what I did there?) Yes, Mary Jane is legal in both cities. But what else can these two bring to the table and battle out?
In part one of my little series of Denver vs. Seattle, I will take a look at some of Seattle’s best vs. Denver’s best. Consider this maybe a three-parter.
Day one: The Greatest Rap One Hit Wonder! Seattle’s Booty vs. Denver’s Lost and Found.
In this epic Super Bowl battle, the Broncos offense is the unstoppable juggernaut while Seattle’s defense is the immovable object. But when the two teams take to the gridiron, a champion will emerge as to who has the greatest one hit wonder in rap history! While I normally care about rap about as much as I do Zero and Moo-chelle’s impending divorce, the songs are too great to ignore.
In May 1992, Seattle native and lyrical maestro, Sir Mix A Lot released “I Like Big Butts.” This groundbreaking song lets us know who we can trust in life. Guys who like big butts, for they cannot lie. The same can be said about Shakira’s hips. They are the only two things on this world that can be trusted point blank, every time. The song fascinated a nation that was depressed from Nirvana and Pearl Jam (also a Seattle native) songs. It also made it cool for girls to have a fat ass. Unless they are white. Thank you Sir Mix A Lot (no relation to Super Bowl great, Ronnie) for enthralling us with large posteriors, and making it ok for the butt (the breasts’ only natural enemy) to be displayed.
In May 1993, a year to the day later, Denver natives Tag Team released, “Whoop! There it is!” This great one hit wonder gave me something to say every time I found something. The remote controller, my keys, a G-spot… thankfully I now know exactly what to say. Whoop. Shaka-Laka. I shall forever be indebted to you, Tag Team.
Clearly these songs have become pop culture mainstays, and not footnotes like “My Sharona.” They can be heard throughout sports venues, movies, and advertisements all the time. Clearly, they are both One Hit Wonders. Though Sir Mixy is still trying. Tag Team is not; they have taken their royalties and are living the sweet life. In this epic Super Bowl, we can finally have the answer to which is the greatest one hit wonder in rap history!
Personally, like the game itself, I go for Seattle. Sir Mix a Lot and the Legion of Boom. You have been warned Denver! But please, feel free to weigh in. Who wins the game? What is the greatest Rap one hitter? And anything else you can compare the two cities for. I have never been to either…
Up Next: Likely on Monday as I will be away for the weekend: Starbucks vs. Coors. Pisswater vs Hipsters. There is actually a battle here…