Humpday History Highlight

Andrew Jackson Battle Of New OrleansThe end of a war would preclude most generals from opening a cask of whoop-ass on an opponent. That said, most generals are not Andrew F**king Jackson.

January 8, 1815 – The Battle Of New Orleans

On January 8, 1815, the British marched against New Orleans, hoping that by capturing the city they could separate Louisiana from the rest of the United States. Pirate Jean Lafitte, however, had warned the Americans of the attack, and the arriving British found militiamen under General Andrew Jackson strongly entrenched at the Rodriquez Canal.

In two separate assaults, the 7,500 British soldiers under Sir Edward Pakenham were unable to penetrate the U.S. defenses, and Jackson’s 4,500 troops, many of them expert marksmen from Kentucky and Tennessee, decimated the British lines. In half an hour, the British had retreated, General Pakenham was dead, and nearly 2,000 of his men were killed, wounded, or missing. U.S. forces suffered only eight killed and 13 wounded.

Although the battle had no bearing on the outcome of the war, Jackson’s overwhelming victory elevated national pride, which had suffered a number of setbacks during the War of 1812.

It also cemented Jackson’s reputation of the most ass-kickingest president in U.S. history.

11 thoughts on “Humpday History Highlight

  1. Veeshir

    There’s a good movie about that starring to Yul Brynner and Charlton Heston (as Lafitte and Jackson respectively) and as we all know, Chuck and Yul only played badasses.

    Reply
  2. Dr. Evil

    Andrew “Old Hickory” Jackson. AWESOME. You should have mentioned though the battle was fought AFTER peace had been declared. Jackson must have missed that in his Twitter feed.

    And most ass-kicking President. I don’t know. Grant was a psychopath and don’t count out Ike!

    Reply
  3. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Veeshir – Mos def. I purchased Jon Meacham’s American Lion – a bio of Jackson. I cannot wait to read it.

    Dr Evil – “The end of a war would preclude most generals from opening a cask of whoop-ass on an opponent…”

    IT’S THE FIRST LINE!!!

    Reply
  4. Jim Scrummy

    Of course the original badass was G. Washington. Who orders an attack on Christmas Day…G. Washington, that’s who. Old Hickory is definitely No. 2. Grant was a great general, he was the first to use the OODA loop with maneuver warfare at the Battle of Vicksburg (Sherman did the same with his march to Savannah). Sorry Dr. E., but Ike was a pure political general, his job was to be an ally and authorize stupid stuff like Operation Market Garden, and promote that worthless hack Omar Bradley over Patton, Devers, Hodges, Simpson, and even Clarke (who never got the blame for Anzio, which was short on manpower from the gitgo) in the ETO. There is an unconfirmed rumor that Ike copied much of Patton’s thesis on armored warfare at War College, and presented as his “own” thinking, which is BS. Patton, Guderian, and Rommel wrote the book on modern armored warfare. Ike was a poser “warrior” general, more of a politician general than anything else. It was his strong suit.

    Reply
    1. JT

      Jim- not to be argumentative, but in Ike’s defense, he was forced to remain stateside during WWI despite numerous requests for overseas postings, while contemporaries like Patton and MacArthur were promoted to Colonel during service in France (back to Captains after the war) and as a result, after the war, Ike thought his Army career was pretty much over.
      Seems somebody recognized his talent for administration, even if he didn’t realize it at the time.
      While that aspect of war-making is not glamorized, somebody’s gotta make sure the bullets and the beans show up on time, or no matter how hard charging the general and the troops in the field are, things will end badly.
      Ike made the call to go on June 6th, despite the iffy weather forecasts. In hindsight, it was the right call.
      But, at the time, it took guts.
      Nowadays, I get the distinct impression that nobody in a position of power makes a decision before they strategically place somebody else under the bus.
      Part of Ike’s job was to be an ally, to be sure. But when you stop and think of all the things that must have entailed, there must have been times when that absolutely sucked.
      It would have been impossible to launch the D-day invasion from Greenland.
      As for promoting Bradley over Patton, Ike reported to Marshall, remember. I’m not putting it all on Marshall , but it wasn’t entirely Ike’s call.
      As for Patton, he was a most brilliant military man, but being a general carries certain responsibilities, and Patton of all people should have realized that.

      Reply
      1. Jim Scrummy

        I don’t have anything against Ike, he was a political general, from the word go. He was good at what he did, and he was a decent strategic leader (minus Market Garden). Omar Bradley on the other hand (Ike’s lackey). That barely average general somehow ended up as CoS and CJS? Bradley was dumb (and a piss poor CJS), to not know that the Germans used the Ardennes as their expressway into France for both wars? To use the 28th Division in a frontal assault in the Hurtgen. To get bogged down in Sicily? Then he was paid to be the military adviser on the movie “Patton” which had many things wrong about it. The man was pure mediocre on his best days. Sorry for the rant.

  5. Pingback: Smite A. Hippie » Where are ya, Smite?!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>