The Greatest Headline Of All Time

Gordon Ramsay And Percy Foster

“Gordon Ramsay’s Dwarf Porn Double Percy Foster Dies In Badger Den”

The story cannot possibly top that headline:

A DWARF porn star who was Gordon Ramsay’s double has been found dead in the most bizarre of circumstances, according to UK tabloid The Sunday Sport. Percy Foster’s 107 centimetre (3’6″) body was discovered in a badger’s den in Wales.

The report says the 35-year-old was found, “deep in an underground chamber by Ministry of Agriculture experts ahead of a planned badger-gassing program.

Hmm. I stand corrected.

13 thoughts on “The Greatest Headline Of All Time

  1. MelP

    He must’ve been planning to protest the planned gassing. Too bad others with the same thought line couldn’t follow that example…

    Good Lord, I’m getting cynical in my old age…

    Reply
  2. realwest

    OK Wyatt, this one almost has me at a loss for words. According to the story at the link, this Dwarf Porn star may have been trying to commit suicide. Or maybe (although the story didn’t say) he was protesting the planned gassing to death of badgers.

    Either way, this is a bizarre ending to what has to have been a bizarre life. I barely know the name and photo of Gordon Ramsey, since I’m not exactly a (“one large Pizza to go, double everything!”) gourmet nor a top cook, er, Chef. In any event RIP Percy Foster.

    I wonder, however, if there couldn’t be another detective novel based upon something similar? I mean I really REALLY liked Fortunate Son, but c’mon Wyatt, you have to get back on that writing horse again (see what I did there?!)!!

    Reply
  3. metoo

    This would make a great bit for Stefan on SNL. He is always referencing dwarfs, midget, little people ….just not in badger dens.

    Reply
  4. DocRambo

    WTF!!! Reaching into the innermost depths of my twisted mind, I cannot comprehend what this means. Was the little fellow badgering the badgers? Was he protesting their supposed gassing? Was he wanting to get gassed himself? And what was the cause of death? Overdose of badger flatulence? There must be more details; hopefully they will announce the latest Government program to prevent any re-occurrences. We must protect the Little People.

    Reply
  5. Dr. Evil

    Funny, last week I was going to post a topic on how much I love midgets. They are god’s little punch lines!

    Reply
  6. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Dr. Evil – I know, right?

    MelP – You’re reading this blog too much.

    Real – Sadly, my book is Only Son. Fortunate Son is a song by CCR.

    Metoo – We can get the guy from Game of Thrones to play him in the movie.

    Doc – OUTLAW ASSAULT BADGERS!

    Cathy – Because there’s a market for them? Creepy.

    Dr. Evil – Okay, that’s a funny line.

    Rodney – +1.

    Sean – Dammit! Figures . . . the headline was too good to be true.

    Reply

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