The Smothers Sisters

Christina Hendricks black dressA Washington woman has been arrested and charged with manslaughter after smothering her boyfriend to death.

With her breasts.

The victim was most likely a huge bosom fan, so it’s ironic that he was killed by them. You know what they say, live by the funbags, die by the funbags.

Donna Lange, 51, from Everett, Washington, is reported to have thrown herself down on top of her boyfriend at midday on Saturday.

Police arrived at the scene following reports of shouting coming from inside the mobile home and found Lange lying on top of her boyfriend.

Witnesses say they heard the man, who shared the mobile home with Lange, pleading with her to get off of him. One witness said: “She had her chest on his face – she smothered him to death.”

As a result of this story, the Obama administration is crafting legislation to ban boobies.

12 thoughts on “The Smothers Sisters

  1. Robert B.

    If the administration was to fire all the boobs in it, there would be no one left to violate our rights.

    Not a bad idea, at that.

  2. Dr. Evil

    I am not surprised to read that a trailer was involved in this story. Both the trailer and boobehs were Double Wides.

  3. John D

    The only boob control I’ll support is the kind that would reign in our elected officials. As for the other kind of boobs, I’m an advocate for the individual right to keep and bare them.

  4. Jim Scrummy

    Can I get two pickets to Tittsburgh please?

    Banning the boobehs? Holy moly, that would be an outright war! We need more boobehs!

  5. Jenn

    Boobies lead to everything from sexual assault to breast cancer, and breast milk makes babies fat. Ban the killer boobies!

    (except mine. I like mine.)

  6. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Robert B. – As Krutsy the Klown would say, “I heartily endorse this event or product.”

    Dr. Evil – And filled with stupidity.

    John D – Accent on “bare them.”

    Rick – Sadly, no one kept her abreast of her boyfriend’s condition.

    Jim – Keep legs, butts, etc. I’ve always been a boobie man.

    USAdmiral – Probably sounds better than it feels.

    Jenn – I like them, too. Generic boobies, of course; not yours. Not that yours are bad. I wouldn’t know. You know, let’s start over. Hi, I’m Wyatt! :)

  7. L Frame S&W

    Ya know, I remember an old pr0n movie star named Chesty Morgan, famous for having a 72″ chest. Once she did an attempt at some “serious” roles. Well, as serious as anyone with 72″ breasts could be.
    In one movie, she actually smothered one of the bad guys with her cleavage. Of course, it was just an excuse to let those puppies out on camera. My reaction was “Hey, I know how tender those things are, I would have bitten the snerd out of them to get her to back off so I could breathe.

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