5 Things I Hate About You

Four Popped Coller DouchebagIt’s difficult enough making friends and influencing people in this hate-em-all-and-let-God-sort-em-out world. Now, egghead researchers tell us everyday, run-of-the-mill things can make a person hate us.

I guess my back is too hairy or something. Swell.

It seems like everyone these days is just waiting for an excuse to hate you. There’s the obvious stuff: your stupid clothes, your ugly hair, that dumb thing you do when you laugh. But your many glaring personality flaws aside, sometimes the deck is just plain stacked against you for reasons you would never expect, much less think to avoid …

#5. Your Profile Picture Is Too Close Up

Every online service practically demands that you have a close-up photo of your own face on your profile, if only to assure people that you’re a real human being and not a robot. The unfortunate truth is that not only do those close-ups show your blemishes in all of their hideous glory, but they also make you look less trustworthy and less attractive.

Researchers at Caltech performed several experiments measuring the relationship between proximity and likability. In one, they had volunteers judge photographs of people who were either 2 feet or 7 feet from the camera — the same people, the same expression, the same clothes, and the same general aura. They found that the participants disliked the subjects more the closer they got to the camera.

*Cut to my readers frantically changing their Facebook pictures*

11 thoughts on “5 Things I Hate About You

  1. realwest

    ROTFL!! This was a funny, funny bit (at the link).

    I have a simple, and fairly effective way to look, to talk and to deal with people:
    a. I look the way I look, period. Don’t like it, doesn’t bother me.
    b. I talk to most people the first time, in my normal tone of voice and if people don’t like the way my normal tone of voice sounds, there will unlikely be a second conversation.
    c. I deal with everyone, the first time, as if they are decent, honorable people with good intentions. Should it eventuate that they are not, then I simply won’t deal with them again.

    Seriously Wyatt, those were some of the most screwed up “tests” that the “researchers” could have conducted. I sincerely hope they didn’t get paid for it.

  2. Jon Brooks

    Good thing the man in the photo is not a man of ‘many faces’ or ‘many hats’.

    I tend to judge people by the caliber it would take to down them. For instance if I am trapped in an elevator with a heavily tattoed biker with biceps larger than my leg and a 22 inch neck I tend to think to myself…Damn! I left the .44 at home!

  3. Jim Scrummy

    He is kinda douchy in that picture. Four polo shirts? I really don’t participate in social media that much, other than commenting here and at Ace’s place. The chick is cute. What’s she doing with douchy?

  4. metoo

    Just one more reason to never publish a current photo on Facebook. I have enough people who are irritated by my personality without seeing a pic.

  5. Bob G.

    One word clearly explains such cultural dysfunction…
    That should clue anyone in, right?

    Be yourself, and learn to like it.
    After all, YOU spend more time with YOU than anyone else, kapeesh?
    (unless you’re having “out-of-body” experiences on a daily basis…lol)
    Stay safe out there.

  6. Ingineer66

    Luckily my Facebook photo was taken about 10 feet away and my son in his uniform is in it with me.
    As for 4 collar man he clearly has a fat wallet, that is why the cute girl is with Count Douche.

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