That Is Some Fantastic Plastic

Despite what you may think, Canada has its fair share of street crime. Take this woman, who was shot in the chest during a dispute. Her life was saved by – get this – her breast implants.

This, my lovely female readers, is why you should all get breast augmentation surgery. Really, aren’t you worth it?

A Canadian woman says her surgically enhanced breasts saved her life when her ex-boyfriend shot her.

[Eileen] Likness said a bullet fired from Fernando (Frank) Chora’s 9mm handgun grazed her right arm before traveling through both her surgically enhanced breasts and through her left forearm.

She said the projectile, which entered her right breast, grazed her chest plate and exited her left breast, according to her testimony. The projectile’s path through her body all but deflated her boosted breasts.

Chora faces charges of attempted murder and aggravated assault with a weapon in connection with the Jan. 2, 2006, incident. (H/T – 911)

This week, I’m ditching my Kevlar vest and surrounding myself with breast implants when I’m at work. It seems to be the prudent thing to do.

12 thoughts on “That Is Some Fantastic Plastic

  1. realwest

    Wow, yet another reason for liking our Canadian friends!!
    But seriously Wyatt, although not as attractive as the alternative, stick with the Kevlar!

  2. realwest

    Howdy Wyatt – say, I just happened to amble on over to Ace of Spades and found this homage to YOU and your city. Well homage to your city not so much, but to you, yes indeedy!
    Sunday Morning Book Thread 12-02-2012: Brotherly Love Edition [OregonMuse]
    —Open Blogger

  3. proof

    Kevlar Knockers™ “Enhanced enhancement for your protection” -with removable ceramic plates to prevent unwanted attempts to get to “second base”!

  4. DocRambo

    Just fortuitous, trajectory a little more posterior and the 9mm slug would have perfed her lungs, heart, great vessels, and other lung. Silicone balloons are not bullet proof. Maybe she can apply to the Victims Compensation Fund for a rebuild.

  5. Jay

    Instead of surrounding yourself with just breast implants you should surround yourself with women who have already had breast implants that way you still get to wear the kevlar as a backup plan just in case the whole breast thing doesn’t work.

  6. Indiana Ed

    Hey Wyatt,
    Probably not the right place to post (and you’ll find out soon enough) but you got an Ace-a-lanche.

    “Book by Morons for Morons

    You’re all probably familiar with longtime moron commenter Wyatt Earp. You’ve heard him bitch about his home town, Philadelphia (“the crack whore of cities”), and you’ve heard him piss and moan about the Eagles, an NFL team known primarily for being used by other NFL teams to blow their noses on, but despite all this, he got off his sorry ass and actually wrote a book. When I was highlighting moron authors awhile back, I somehow missed him. Anyway, Mr. Earp’s book Only Son, is available on Kindle for the absolutely outrageous very reasonable price of $3.99. The plot of this crime novel involves “a discharged U.S. serviceman [being] found dead on a Philadelphia street and a pair of homicide detectives struggle to solve a crime with no witnesses, no leads, and no family to speak for the victim.”

    All good

  7. Jim Scrummy

    Mmmm boobehs. I do not discriminate between real and fakies, I love them all. Now kevlar boobehs, could be an up-n-coming market.

    1. L Frame S&W

      I almost covered my keyboard with coffee, you should get comment of the week for this one!!!

  8. L Frame S&W

    “[Eileen] Likness said”
    HEE HEE, her name is Likness, sounds like royalty to me:

    “Yes, your Likness, anything you say your Likness.”

    Hmmph, I have to go take a cold shower now…

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