Cat Got Your Tongue?

Normally I like to start off the day with some light blogging fare. A post about some vapid celebrity or other scantily-clad goodness.

Not today.

Today I’m tired, stuck in court on my day off, and nursing an injured heel. So, if I feel crappy, I’m not going to feel crappy alone. I’m sorry in advance.

Melissa Lee Williams, 41, is facing assault and weapons charges after allegedly waving a knife at two men who declined her demands to engage in sexual conduct. Williams–who lives four doors down from her estranged husband at the 77 Motor Inn–showed up and asked Danny Williams and another man to “eat my pussy.” At this point, Williams, “commenced to undress herself,” reported Deputy Ross Mellinger.

Danny Williams “declined said invitation,” the other man, Adam Watson, “agreed to perform at her request.” However, as Watson approached Williams, “he became overwhelmed by horrible vaginal odor emitting from [her].” Watson “declined to proceed any further.”

Williams allegedly “produced a lock-back folding knife,” opened it, and pointed the weapon at her estranged husband. She then reportedly uttered a line never before memorialized in a police report: “Somebody is going to eat my pussy or I’m going to cut your fucking throat.”

Backing off because of a strong odor and a high bacteria count? What a pussy.

22 thoughts on “Cat Got Your Tongue?

  1. Robert B.

    She has such poor hygiene the EPA prohibits her from bathing in the ocean. Ol’ Jaws would gag and rip out his teeth. “Won’t ever eat in here again!”

  2. Ferrell Gummitt

    Wyatt: Every morning I come into work and start the day with a bottle of Cherry Coke Zero. I know, not the smartest thing to start the day off with.. However, after I read this post I poured the bottle down the drain because this is just gross but so damn funny at the same time.

    No thanks and thanks.

  3. Rob in Katy

    You did it, you grossed me out. I don’t gross out – ever, you did it – thanks a bunch! My Coffee, my coffee-cake ruined, just ruined. You better go big to make up for this.

  4. Jim Scrummy

    Oh she’s a “cutie”. Ewww. It’s called Massengill, unfortunately it doesn’t come in 50 gallon drums for you, Missy.

  5. piperfromtn@gmail.com

    My Dad’s old joke:
    A blind man passed by a fish market, tipped his hat and said “hello ladies!”.

    I figure we all needed a cleansing of the mind. Ouch, Wyatt.

  6. he said his telephone number was 911

    SA, pass the brain bleach, I’ll have a double. One of those “can’t make this s__t up” reports.

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