The Pennsylvania Chainsaw Masochist

Turbotville, PA must be a wasteland town straight out of Mad Max. People don’t settle arguments with harsh words, fists, or lawsuits. No, in Turbotville, they settle their differences with power tools.

And speaking of tools, let’s take a look at the life and times of Guy Allen Black: Turbotville’s official chainsaw aficionado.

Seventy-six-year-old Guy Allen Black is being held on $100,000 bail after allegedly cutting through a door at the home he shared with Ronald Lee Tanner and swinging a chainsaw at him.

Black became irate after Tanner changed the locks on the home he owns in Turbotville. Black allegedly entered the house through the basement and used an ax and chainsaw to cut through an interior door before chasing Tanner outside.

Investigators say the saw got stuck on Tanner’s shirt and jammed, allowing Tanner to pin Black down with an umbrella.

Wait, Tanner pinned him down with an umbrella? Who is he, John Steed?

11 thoughts on “The Pennsylvania Chainsaw Masochist

  1. Jon Brooks

    I remember when Steed was trapped on a firing range the armed bad guy advancing on him. He spied an unspent round on the ground, inserted it in a hole made by a previous bullet strike and waited till the bad guy drew near then hit the primer with his unbrella tip killing the bad guy. Ah good times. An umbrella will save the world, just wait and see!

  2. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Jon – Maybe we should take one to Iran?

    Metoo – That’s just what he wants us to think!

    JT – because who doesn’t have “Murder a Man With a Chainsaw” on their list?

  3. Jim Scrummy

    Ahhh, my home state of Pennsyltuckey. Good times, good times. Movies are reality. Luckily, I keep the chainsaw hidden from Mrs. S!

  4. John D

    I hope he can make bail in time for election day. With PA possibly in play, every vote counts. And I’m sure that Mr. Black will choose wisely.

  5. Wyatt Earp Post author

    Jim – But the axe is in plain view . . .

    Danny – Or keeping a battering ram under the welcome mat?

    JCM – That’s the Texas way!

    John D – Maybe he can be ROR – Released On Romney.

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