The Lap Of Luxury
By Wyatt Earp | February 28, 2012
Okay, everyone knows that I couldn’t be elected dog catcher, let alone to a legitimate public office. That being said, if I ever decide to run for mayor of Philadelphia, I expect some of you guys to do this to me.
And I can assure you all of one thing: I’ll be damned appreciative of it. Hell, I’d probably even watch the tape afterward.
Scandals and dirty politics have long defined this dusty border town. So when a woman started dancing topless in mayoral candidate Gerardo Hernandez’s office, he says it crossed his mind it could be a setup.
It all started, Hernandez said, after a Mexican national fleeing threats south of the border offered to assist his campaign. During a meeting, Hernandez said, the man turned on some music and indicated the woman who was with him liked to dance. The dance turned sexual, Hernandez said, but there was no sex — just a dance. And all the while, Hernandez says, he was being taped without his knowledge.
He’s bitching about it? Dude, that’s why you need a lap dance; you’re too uptight!
Topics: Politics | 6 Comments »
Awwwww! You spoiled the birthday present we were going to get for you! Bummer!
Howdy, Wyatt!!
From your link:
“Residents, meantime, are just plain fed up with a City Hall that has seen raids by state police three times in as many years and whose mayor acknowledged signing a million dollar contract last year while drunk.
“It’s been happening for years,” said grocery store cashier Roberto Perez. “They are all the same. … They just squander the money because it’s not theirs. They don’t give a (expletive.)”
And while no one identified the political party of the mayor, I suppose one could guess at it.
I would chip in $5 for you there, buddy!
Hell we’ll even make sure its Salma in her ‘Dawn to Dusk’ outfit Wyatt, to keep the Mayan vampire goddess theme and then you can suck the blood out of the taxpayers too.
Wyatt, why run for public office? We can do that this weekend!
Uncle Ray – Dammit!
Real – If it’s not mentioned, chances are good that it’s a Dem.
Rob – Thanks, chief!
Jon – God, I love her in that film.
Dr. Evil – I’m in . . . if the wife lets me . . .