Archive for October, 2011
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Friday, October 14th, 2011In the PPD, policy dictates that detectives respond to homicides, suicides, and sudden or suspicious deaths. We do not respond to deaths brought on by natural causes. Most officers with a brain know this. Tonight, I got a call that went as follows: “Hi, it’s [Smith] from the [99th] District. I’m out here with a [...]
Rihanna: Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive?
Friday, October 14th, 2011Don’t get me wrong; she’s hot. Really hot. But Sexiest Woman Alive? Um, no. Apparently to Esquire, Rihanna, dirt, twigs and leaves are about as sexy as it gets. The 23-year-old singer is the magazine’s pick for the Sexiest Woman Alive, following in the footsteps of other beautiful women like Minka Kelly and Christina Hendricks. [...]
Because I’m A Giver
Thursday, October 13th, 2011And because I’m too tired to post anything, I give you the Avengers trailer: Up here (points to skull), I’m already in line!
Praying For Death
Thursday, October 13th, 2011Or at least something to knock me out. I’m sick as a dog. The cellulitis is back. Too tired to explain it, but the short answer is raised, painful rash up and down my back and high fevers. I was at 101 when I woke up and was 100 an hour or so before work. [...]
The Perfect Storm
Thursday, October 13th, 2011So, despite the rain, we were busy in the division last night. We processed more than a few arrests and even more crime scenes. Late in the evening, I got a call for a gunpoint robbery at a grocery store. The officer on the scene is not the brightest bulb, so I figured I’d ask [...]
The Only Reason To Ever Go To Detroit
Thursday, October 13th, 2011In 2010, a crack stripper unit was sent to prison by a court for a lap dance they didn’t commit. These women promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Detroit underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as dancers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can [...]
Finally, A Doc That Makes House Calls!
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011Meet Florida’s Phillip Winikoff. The 81-year old is in trouble with the law, but a hero to perverts across the country. Why? Because he believes that you are never too old to play doctor. Winikoff allegedly posed as a doctor and went door-to-door offering free breast exams to local women. Yeah, he had a nice [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011October 12, 1940 – Silent Film Star Tom Mix Dies In Auto Accident Mix was driving north from Tucson in his beloved bright-yellow Cord Phaeton sports car. He was driving so fast that he didn’t notice–or failed to heed–signs warning that one of the bridges was out on the road ahead. The Phaeton swung into [...]
Tea Partier Makes Violent Threats On Twitter
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011Oh, did I say “Tea Partier?” I meant it was a threat of violence from an Occupy Wall Street thug. I remember when the Tea Party started. It was portrayed in the MSM as a violent, racist group of idiots – and still is – even though there was no proof of any of those [...]
The Funnel Bacakonator Has Arrived!
Wednesday, October 12th, 2011For those of you wondering why I love NASCAR so much, here’s your answer: Charlotte Motor Speedway has unveiled new concession items in advance of Saturday night’s Bank of America 500 Sprint Cup race, including healthy options in the name of Danica Patrick and the “funnel bacakonator,” which, yes, combines funnel cake and bacon. “Danica [...]
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