Archive for September, 2011
« Previous Entries Next Entries »A Star Is Born
Friday, September 16th, 2011Code Monkey sent me this little slice of heaven early this morning and I had to post it immediately. Somehow, she knows exactly the kind of snark I need to brighten an otherwise dull day. In this case, the snark is a television news report of an auto accident in Phoenix, Arizona. The accident is [...]
Archer’s Back!
Thursday, September 15th, 2011Well, partially. The funniest show on television returns tonight for a three episode mini-season. And yes, I know I usually exaggerate the awesomeness of some programs, I am not doing so here. Don’t believe me? Take a look. You guys really need to start watching this. All the cool kids are doing it. Check it [...]
White House Party Crasher Leaves Husband
Thursday, September 15th, 2011UPDATE: Tareq isn’t as dumb as he looks; he just filed for divorce. Am I supposed to feel badly about this? Because truth be told, I can’t stop giggling. Reality TV star and accused White House gatecrasher Michaele Salahi has run off with Journey’s lead guitarist. Salahi’s husband, Tareq, had claimed his wife had been [...]
NJ Gives Jackasses A Tax Credit
Thursday, September 15th, 2011Ironically enough, if New Jersey gave a film tax credit to the cast of Jackass, I wouldn’t care. But giving one to the no-talent whores and idiots from Jersey Shore? Keep your GTL. I’m throwing out a WTF. MTV’s “Jersey Shore” GTL motto might now stand for gym-tax credit-laundry instead of gym-tan-laundry. The state Economic [...]
The SYLG Modeling Agency
Thursday, September 15th, 2011So, I received this e-mail yesterday . . . Hi, A friend of mine mentioned she modeled for your company today and I was wondering if you were accepting new girls and if you could possibly send me some info. It would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for your time. Jenna (Redacted) Yeah, I hit [...]
Cherokees To Blacks: Drop Dead
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011The Cherokee Nation is cleaning house, and if they have their way, African-Americans will be shown the door. Apparently, they didn’t appreciate the fact that freed slaves received tribal citizenship after the Civil War. It only took them 146 years to complain. Well played, guys. The nation’s second-largest Indian tribe said on Tuesday that it [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011President McKinley Dies From A Gunshot Wound McKinley became known–controversially–as a protector of big businesses, which enjoyed unprecedented growth during his administration. He advocated the protective tariff as a way of shielding U.S. business and labor from foreign competition, and he successfully argued for using the gold standard of currency. Sounds like some pretty good [...]
Philly Man Charged With Impersonating Cop
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011Wow, they finally locked up Philly Commish Chuck Ramsey? Good for them! And before you ask, no, it wasn’t me, wiseasses. I’m impersonating a detective. This story happened in my old district. It’s a hotbed of drugs, guns, and primo whores. Apparently, it is also a prime location for cop wannabes. Police say suspect Christopher [...]
Think Pink
Wednesday, September 14th, 2011Say what you want about Christina Hendricks, but her red carpet ensembles are almost always top notch. Always one to catch attention on the red carpet, “I Don’t Know How She Does It” star Christina Hendricks completely stole the show in a curve-hugging satin dress. The star was beaming alongside her co-stars Sarah Jessica Parker, [...]
Eel’s Well That Ends Well
Tuesday, September 13th, 2011Guys, this is BY FAR the worst story you will ever read. And second place is not even close? The Lorena Bobbitt story isn’t even in the same zip code as this one, so if you don’t want to spend the rest of your day cringing, look away. And we begin . . . 56-year [...]
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