We’re Not Zombies, And We’re Here To Help
By Wyatt Earp | May 20, 2011
End of the world got you down? No worries, the gubmint .
“There are all kinds of emergencies out there that we can prepare for. Take a zombie apocalypse for example,” said an official blog post by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan on the Centers for Disease Control website. “You may laugh now, but when it happens you’ll be happy you read this, and hey, maybe you’ll even learn a thing or two about how to prepare for a real emergency,” says the blog.
The tongue-in-cheek post makes no reference to fervent allegations by some preachers that the world will end on Saturday May 21.
Please. If there’s one thing my readers know, it’s how to survive a zombie apocalypse. But in case you haven’t boned up in a while, feel free to check your preparedness here. It’ll distract you from the fact that the CDC wasted our time and money writing that blog post.
Topics: The Walking Dead | 7 Comments »
May 20th, 2011 at 8:17 pm
I got 84%. Probably because I’m not a marksman and I’d go to Walmart. Might as well get the extra guns and ammo while I can.
Besides, what are we doing worrying about a zombie apocalypse? The end is happening at 6:00pm EST tomorrow. There will be a rapture followed by intense earthquakes for the next several months followed by the earth being completely destroyed in October. If the rapture happens and I’m left, I am so helping myself to a neighbor’s pontoon boat and heavy arsenal! He has more guns than we do. And some nice ones! With ammo! If I were a guy, my excitability at handling his guns would be evident. (I can’t believe I just said that.)
May 20th, 2011 at 9:07 pm
I still don’t understand the “attraction” of zombies…….
May 20th, 2011 at 10:14 pm
Kim – I have four kids. I welcome the rapture! See you all in Hell.
LDIV – Some of them are hot. Oh, that’s not what you meant, is it?
May 20th, 2011 at 10:31 pm
Anything that distracts the government from trying to run my life is not a waste of time.
May 21st, 2011 at 7:24 am
John D. – Good point.
May 21st, 2011 at 11:18 am
Wyatt:
Four kids…welcoming the rapture…ROFLMAO!
Two words when it comes to ZOMBIES (of any type):
HEAD SHOT!!!
MY only question is can we off those that would probably BECOME the first wave OF zombies?
…’cause I got a lot that are trying REAL hard to make that happen.
I just thought I’d save the hassle later.
Roll safe out there
May 21st, 2011 at 11:37 am
Bob G. – That Obama supporter that said he’d pay for her gas and mortgage is definitely a candidate.