Overnight Thread
By Wyatt Earp | May 20, 2011
Longtime readers know that I was diagnosed with basal cell skin cancer in October, 2009. Since then, thankfully, I’ve been cancer-free. Today I had my six-month checkup with the dermatologist, and while the cancer scan was negative, the doc gave me this little info nugget:
“You have an enlarged oil gland on your right cheek. I’ll set you up for surgery, because it has to come out.”
Did you ever have one of those moments where time stands still, then runs backward in slow-motion? My internal TiVo backed up and I replied, “Um, what?” Apparently the gland is not cancerous, but it is already moving from a medium-sized bump to a few smaller bumps. When I asked if it was necessary he said yes, adding, “It’s either a small scar now or a big scar later.”
Great. Soon I’ll look like the Joker. So, I’m scheduled for surgery again – albeit minor – on June 7th. As I was walking out of the office, I quipped, “Ya know, it would be nice to see you without someone wanting to slice me open.”
Speaking of scars, this kid’s emotional ones may never heal:
A 12-year-old Dallas student was bound to a chair with duct tape and beaten by four classmates as a substitute teacher ignored the attack, according to the victim’s mom. The Dallas school district is investigating the charges made by Keneshia Richardson, who claims the attackers wrapped tape around her son’s mouth to keep him from shouting.
Someone should duct tape that teacher’s limbs and dump her in the Rio Grande.
Tonight’s post is sponsored by the Bass-O-Matic:
Topics: All About Wyatt | 24 Comments »
May 20th, 2011 at 12:31 am
2009? Have I really “known” you that long? Holy cow! Yes, I know, it’s been longer than that since I tripped over your blog and never left. But it does not seem like it.
As for you looking like the Joker, if you do end up looking like him, go a little light on the lipstick.
I won’t even mention the 12 year old. My brain has to be scooped back into my skull first.
May 20th, 2011 at 12:33 am
Sounds like a trip to my in-laws!
May 20th, 2011 at 12:33 am
Ya know, it would be nice to see you without someone wanting to slice me open.”
May 20th, 2011 at 12:57 am
Wyatt, if you could get the laugh down (Heath Ledger’s, or Mark Hamill’s), perps and the dumber police you went off on a few days ago would never give you problems again.
May 20th, 2011 at 2:03 am
Just had one of those taken out of my mug. Easy peasy, no scar and a lot easier to shave.
May 20th, 2011 at 2:41 am
Feh. Don’t be afraid of a few scars. Yer a man, not a chick.
Scars give you character. Make you look bad-ass.
May 20th, 2011 at 5:25 am
Just remember: IT’S NOT CANCER.
And I agree with ed, you’re a man not a chick.
But I will mark June 7 on my calender. I’ll dance naked in the front yard, send you some positive waves. Ha ha ha …
May 20th, 2011 at 5:50 am
Hang in there Wyatt. I know you are tougher than an enlarged oil gland. Hey, at todays prices, they should pay you for drilling rights.
May 20th, 2011 at 9:11 am
I’m with Ed, hold out and go for the BIG scar like Snake Pliskin had, wait a minute, isn’t he dead?
May 20th, 2011 at 9:32 am
If the surgery means you are put in “Twilight Sleep” be very careful. After my stroke, I had a procedure done where they put me in Twilight Sleep. My wife came with me to be supportive. While I was out apparently I said that I thought her best friend was “hot” (She is definitely a Major in my MILF Army) and that I wanted to go drinking with my brother – Probably not a good idea we would wind up getting in a heated political argument and we would not speak to each for a long time.
Groovy Vic is right it is not Cancer, consider it Preventive Maintenance.
May 20th, 2011 at 10:12 am
I hope your surgery goes well, and like others have said – scars on a dude add character.
May 20th, 2011 at 10:40 am
Lamest “Do You Wanna Know how I Got These Scars?” Speech ever!!!!!
In all seriousness though, your probably well aware of mt Joker obsession. Now, well, I’m jealous! You have the scars AND can grow hair. pretty boy!
May 20th, 2011 at 11:12 am
Only GOOD thoughts Wyatt and lots of prayers……..
May 20th, 2011 at 11:24 am
SCARS ARE AWESOME!!!!
you will look like the Lightning coach!
May 20th, 2011 at 11:27 am
Prayers continued.
May 20th, 2011 at 11:30 am
Please click to see an artist’s interpretation of said
pimplegland.http://images.wikia.com/familyguy/images/b/be/FGDougandChris.jpg
editor’s note: Hair color was changed to protect the innocent.
May 20th, 2011 at 12:12 pm
Hey, best wishes! You will do fine and perps won’t want to screw with you, ’cause you will look so bad-ass! Hell, have them add a few extra ticks for good measure… You will do fine!
May 20th, 2011 at 12:50 pm
Howdy Wyatt – hey, it could been worse news my friend.
Go ahead and get it done NOW.
Hell, it could improve your looks!
/outside Wyatt’s jurisdiction and gun range, too!
Seriously Wyatt, please get it done asap.
May 20th, 2011 at 1:46 pm
“Oil gland”? Could you try drilling instead of surgery? It might bring down the price of crude oil! Seriously (?), oil is lubrication, so I would expect your oil gland to be somewhere below the belt.
May 20th, 2011 at 1:48 pm
WEEEELLLLL Done Randall Graves!
May 20th, 2011 at 1:51 pm
You don’t get to call a policeman “pussy” often
http://www.thefreedictionary.com/pussy
May 21st, 2011 at 4:31 am
Ugh… I’m a little slow today. I was wondering how the doc noticed a bump on your butt. Took awhile, but I caught up.
Best wishes on the slice-and-dice thing.
Where’s my coffee?
May 21st, 2011 at 11:47 am
Kim – Time flies by when you’re reading crap, I suppose.
Hutch – Make sure you don’t invite me over for a BBQ, then.
Ranba – I’ll have to start carrying more blades, though.
Skip – I assumed it was nothing, then he said “scalpel.”
Ed – Not afraid of them, I’d just rather not be covered in them. Especially with my gorgeous face. *Insert retching sounds*
GroovyVic – Pics or it didn’t happen.
Robert B. – Hello? Exxon??
Jon – No, I just heard he was dead.
Ferrell – I had that when I got my wisdom teeth pulled. The nurses never told me what I was saying, but they laughed the entire time.
Orbitup – Thanks.
Dr. Evil – I’ll have to grow it out now.
LDIV – Thanks. Probably nothing, but it’s good to be cautious.
Orchid – He’s a handsome devil, even with the scar. I like how he never tells anyone how he got it.
Bob – Thanks.
Randal – Mine doesn’t talk . . . yet.
Rob – Or he can add a third eye. That’ll scare ‘em.
Real – 17 days. Fastest they can get me in.
Mike47 – Let’s hope it’s not a gusher.
PapaMAS – Although my clothes had to come off for the cancer screening. That’s always fun.
May 21st, 2011 at 10:00 pm
Seems we go down the same road at times.
I had my anniversary scan last fall for the nephrectomy. It was all clear. And a month ago was the colonoscopy…stll clear with diverticulitis! Knew that one already.
Wishing you the best, buddy. Think of the scar as hockey related, easier to deal with.