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God Turned Katy Perry Into A Whore

By Wyatt Earp | May 4, 2011

Yeah, apparently she’s blaming her frakked up life on her religious parents.

Singer Katy Perry says she left her strict religious upbringing behind her after evangelical-minister parents left her without “a childhood.” The sexy pop singer is on the June cover of Vanity Fair magazine, where she reveals the differences between hers and her parents way of thinking .

“I didn’t have a childhood,” she tells the magazine, adding that she was not allowed to say things like “deviled eggs” or “Dirt Devil,” to listen to secular music or read any other books but the Bible.

Perry credits her husband, actor Russell Brand, with opening her mind even more.

Russell Brand is the biggest douche on planet Earth. We got it, honey, you rebelled against your parents. There’s no need to spike the ball.

Oh, and Katy, whoring makes Baby Jesus cry.

Topics: Babes | 15 Comments »

15 Responses to “God Turned Katy Perry Into A Whore”

  1. L Frame S&W Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 7:51 am

    I bet her husband opened more than just her MIND!

  2. Dannytheman Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 8:01 am

    I would like to get her to scream “Oh God” a few times.

  3. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 8:19 am

    L Frame – You’re probably right. It amazes me how many celebrities shack up with ugly losers.

    Danny – Really surprised you didn’t go for a kneeling joke.

  4. Mrs. Crankipants Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 8:31 am

    1. There’s something freakishly feminine and creepy about Russell brand.
    2. Katy’s bible thumping mom is cashing in on a book deal. Nice.
    3. I read an interview where Katy said she used to pray for big bewbs. She should have been praying for talent instead.

    And Danny, this photo may make you scream “Oh God!”
    http://www.toofab.com/2010/12/30/katy-perry-no-makeup-russell-brand/

  5. AJ Lynch Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 9:03 am

    In ten years, will anyone remember who Russell Brand is? And Katy can do no wrong IMO Wyatt.

  6. BlackOrchid Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 9:20 am

    Russell BRAND . . . opened her MIND . . .

    Jesus that is a scary thought right there.

    It’s similar to:

    Joe BIDEN . . . taught me CALCULUS . . .

  7. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 10:02 am

    Mrs. Crankipants – Yeah, I have more talent in my grey hair than she does in her entire body.

    AJ – I wish I didn’t know who he is now.

    Orchid – Or Wyatt Earp . . . rocked her WORLD!

  8. GroovyVic Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 11:02 am

    There’s rebelling and then there’s being just plain obnoxious.

  9. bob (either orr) Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 12:21 pm

    Why is Katy Perry?

  10. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 12:48 pm

    GroovyVic – She’s the very definition of the term.

    Bob – Someone who should go away?

  11. Ferrell Gummitt Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 1:20 pm

    Katy Perry, Lady Gaga I get them all confused at the end of the day anyway.

    Look, Katy Mom and Dad were a little heavy handed on the bible? Sorry, that is your parents fault not God’s.

    Maybe when you turned 18 you could have just sought out another church that wasn’t so in your face about the scriptures.

  12. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 4th, 2011 at 10:16 pm

    Ferrell – Instead of hating everyone around her . . . including herself.

  13. Wes S. Says:
    May 5th, 2011 at 12:27 am

    I don’t think God is responsible for Katy’s newfound promiscuity, or her willingness to sing about it. (And can we please ban that annoying frickin’ “I Kissed A Girl And I Liked It” song of hers already? Jeez.)

    On the other hand, He might have to answer for Katy’s lack of IQ and crappy taste in boyfriends…

    ;)

  14. I R A Darth Aggie Says:
    May 5th, 2011 at 9:46 am

    Too many clothes. Just sayin’…

  15. Wyatt Earp Says:
    May 5th, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Wes S. – God needed to give her better eyesight.

    Aggie – Agreed wholeheartedly.

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