Archive for March, 2011
« Previous Entries Next Entries »Keith Gruber, Party Guy!
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011I am so having this guy run my next catered affair. A 49-year-old man is in Sullivan County Jail without bail after authorities say he showed up for a court hearing on a felony DWI charge drunk and carrying an open can of Busch beer, plus four more cans in a bag. The Middletown Times [...]
Brother, Can You Spare Lots Of Dimes?
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011Yesterday, President Obama stated the U.S. policy concerning Libya. In his words, U.S policy was “Muammar Gaddafi has to go.” Okay, that’s fine, since Gaddafi is a murderous scumbag. I only have one question: Who’s going to pay for all of this? The deficit is already out of control, Congress is still trying to pass [...]
The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly
Tuesday, March 22nd, 2011So, I’m looking for Tuesday morning fluff, because real news is too depressing. While searching, I found this piece at FOXNews. They’re already doing the “summer body” posts. Unfortunately, their subjects run the gamut from fab to flab. “Jersey Shore” star Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi showed off her figure in a skimpy monokini while Taylor Swift [...]
Caption Contest Winners
Monday, March 21st, 2011The Beak-a Fett Caption Contest is now over. There were a lot of comments this week (60+) – and most of them were fantastic. Here are the top five: 5. Have you met our new CIC — Obama talks tough, waves around the big guns, but is all chicken. – Maggie Mama 4. Not all [...]
The Ox-Bow-rrito Incident
Monday, March 21st, 2011Never get between a man and his burrito. The price of the Beefy Crunch Burrito had gone up from 99 cents to $1.49 and the man at the Rigsby Road Taco Bell drive-thru had just ordered seven. The fast food customer was so disgruntled by the price hike he shot an air gun at the [...]
Philly-Area Man Stoned To Death
Monday, March 21st, 2011Why? Because his “friend,” John Thomas, claimed Seidman made unwanted sexual advances toward him. Thomas, pictured on the right, also believes the Old Testament wants us to stone homosexuals. Authorities in suburban Philadelphia say a 70-year-old man was stoned to death with a rock stuffed in a sock by a younger friend who alleged the [...]
Christina Hendricks Gets Seconds Of Pleasure
Monday, March 21st, 2011No, she didn’t sleep with me, ya bunch of wiseasses. She joined the cast of the upcoming film. Christina Hendricks has signed on for Seconds Of Pleasure. The Mad Men star, best known for her portrayal of sultry office manager Joan Holloway in the 60s series, will play a wife who catches her husband, played [...]
Getting Their Kicks
Sunday, March 20th, 2011Kyle’s indoor soccer playoffs began this weekend with a forfeit win yesterday. Yeah, that’s right; the other team just didn’t show up – for a playoff game! Thus, the Blue Kickers advanced to the semifinals to face the other Philadelphia Soccer Club team, the Union. They faced each other in the first game of the [...]
Obama’s Bullying Policy Is Not For Everyone
Sunday, March 20th, 2011When it comes to prosecuting school bullies at Eric Holder’s Department of Justice, all men are not created equal. White men, especially, need not apply. Last week, President Barack Obama addressed an anti-bullying conference with First Lady Michelle Obama at his side. The administration’s anti-bullying campaign has been ongoing since the beginning of Mr. Obama’s [...]
Bradley Cooper: Single Again
Sunday, March 20th, 2011Now, there’s a reason I am posting this completely insignificant story. First, Bradley Cooper is hot. (Oh, I’ve said too much.) Um, I mean women think he’s hot. Second, the woman he broke up with has a face that could stop a clock. That woman is homely, talentless actress Renee Zellweger. Yeah, Bradly Freakin’ Cooper [...]
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