Archive for February, 2011
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Monday, February 7th, 2011Top Five Entries: 5. Since leaving office, George W. Bush has been haunted by a recurring nightmare. – JT 4. “Dr. Scholl for president!” – Proof 3. “Run, walk, or ride your favorite camel to Crazy Ahmed’s Used Footwear for his pre-owned shoe blowout. His prices are INSANE. And so are his customers.” – John [...]
Christina Aguilera: Idiot
Monday, February 7th, 2011Pop star and resident skank Christina Aguilera performed the National Anthem during last night’s Super Bowl. Well, “performed” is a relative term, since she botched the lyrics. The biggest moment any singer can ask for: “The Star Spangled Banner” at the Super Bowl. And Christina Aguilera messed up the lyrics. At about 51 seconds in, [...]
Julius Erving Accused Of Fraud
Monday, February 7th, 2011Who knew Dr. J’s field of expertise was proctology? Basketball legend Julius “Dr. J” Erving is facing legal action Saturday for allegedly cheating a wealthy Manhattan woman out of more than $420,000 in a deal with crooked money manager Kenneth Starr. Mary Gilbert’s suit — which charges Erving with breach of contract and fiduciary duty [...]
Nicole Kidman: Cruise “Damaged” Her
Monday, February 7th, 2011The former Mrs. Tom Cruise came out this week and talked about her marriage to the film star. And despite what you may think, she apparently enjoyed the relationship. Personally, I don’t know how someone could enjoy spending time with a Scientology freak who fancies himself more attractive than any woman, but that’s just me. [...]
Pulling My Weight
Sunday, February 6th, 2011Is the snow gone yet? I ask because it is really frakkin’ around with my attempts to exercise. This week saw me make Weight Watchers points every day except one, but my only real exercise was shoveling old snow and chopping the ice in the street in front of the house. I worked up a [...]
Inglouriously Entertaining
Sunday, February 6th, 2011Not that you folks would know it, but I have been on strike from the Internet this weekend. I’ve been spending most of my free time off the computer, since my usual 8 hours a day is a tad excessive. The kids spent Friday afternoon sledding in front of the house – while I was [...]
Respect The Month: Pull Up Your Pants
Sunday, February 6th, 2011The comedy here just writes itself: City leaders want young people in Long Beach to do two things this February: pick ‘em up and keep ‘em up. Bishop William Ervin along with Carson City Councilman Mike Gipson are calling on black children and teens to “pull up their pants on their waist” as a sign [...]
Another Facebook Security Fail
Saturday, February 5th, 2011If you’re a member of Facebook you have probably heard the stories that it can be a veritable meat market for single – or married – men and women. Old acquaintances are made and BAM! – instant boinking. Hookups may be easier now, though, since a dating site just swiped 250,000 Facebook profiles. How does [...]
No Cheerleaders At The Super Bowl?
Saturday, February 5th, 2011Well, it’s less potential victims for Ben Roethlisberger. For the first time in the showcase event’s 45-year history there will be no scantily-clad cheerleaders on the sidelines at a Super Bowl. The Pittsburgh Steelers and Green Bay Packers are two of a half dozen National Football League teams that don’t have cheerleaders. The others comprise [...]
“Start” Me Up
Saturday, February 5th, 2011So, show of hands: Who here thinks Google is Satan’s spawn? All of you? Sweet, then you will love this. A new search engine made its debut recently. It’s called Starting Page, and it is a completely safe search engine. What do I mean by that? Read on: Every time you use a regular search [...]
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