Archive for October, 2010
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Tuesday, October 19th, 2010Wow, is this guy an attention whore, or what? President Barack Obama will appear on an episode of “Mythbusters,” a television show that uses science to determine the truth behind urban legends. The White House says the episode will air Dec. 8 on the Discovery Channel. Officials say the president’s appearance, which has already been [...]
92-Year Old Banned From FL Library
Monday, October 18th, 2010What is it with guys named Herbert? I thought the character “Herbert” from Family Guy was not based on any real person. I guess I was wrong. This Herbert was banned from all Florida libraries. What was his offense? Sexual harassment of a librarian. Stuart resident Herbert Johnson, 92, has been ordered to stay out [...]
Dems Behind Because You’re Scared & Stupid
Monday, October 18th, 2010At least that’s the insinuation of the president: President Barack Obama said Americans’ “fear and frustration” is to blame for an intense midterm election cycle that threatens to derail the Democratic agenda. “Part of the reason that our politics seems so tough right now and facts and science and argument does not seem to be [...]
You’ll Poke Your Eye Out, Kid!
Monday, October 18th, 2010Everyone knows that when you go to a strip club, there is a chance that you’ll come home with something. Crabs, syphilis, and a few fake phone numbers? Sure. An occasional paternity suit? Possibly. But a punctured eye socket and broken bones around the eyes and nose? Meh, not so much. A South Florida man [...]
The Bird’s Out Of The Bag
Sunday, October 17th, 2010After a short hiatus, Monkey and Bird is back with a vengeance. Locally written and illustrated, blah, blah, blah . . . Look, since I have finally been authorized to let the cat out of the bag, M&B is written and illustrated by our own Mr. and Mrs. Crankipants, so show a little love, okay? [...]
Mosque Victim Of Bacon Attack
Sunday, October 17th, 2010Evil felonious villains carried out a dastardly attack at an America mosque this week, after writing words in bacon on the sidewalk. Obviously, an all points bulletin needs to be issued for these war criminals, and a task force should be created to bring these evildoers to justice! Or, you know, the members of the [...]
Everybody Is Kung Fu Dating
Sunday, October 17th, 2010Think blind dating is tough? These sisters have taken courtship to a very dangerous level. Want to marry one of them? Their dowry includes some cash, a little land, and the ass-kicking of a lifetime. Marital arts experts Xiao Lin, 22, and little sister Yin, 21, are to stage a three day fighting festival in [...]
“Do You Expect Me To Talk?”
Saturday, October 16th, 2010“No, Mr. Bond, we expect you to testify!” Sean Connery – my favorite actor of all time – is in hot water after failing to show up for a court appearance in Spain. He was to be give testimony on a disputed land deal, but missed the appearance, citing ill health and the fact that [...]
Sugarland, Others To Perform For Troops
Saturday, October 16th, 2010VH1 is hosting a “Divas” concert for the troops in December. Among the performers is Sugarland (above), one of Mrs. Earp’s faves. Being a diva is different than it used to be. Katy Perry, Sugarland, Keri Hilson, Nicki Minaj and Paramore are this year’s “VH1 Divas,” but they’ll be taking some of the focus off [...]
“Hip Hop Professor” Sues Hero Philly Cop
Saturday, October 16th, 2010This fine young man is Philadelphia Police Officer Richard Decoatsworth. You may remember him from this post. The officer was shot in the face with a sawed-off shotgun, then pursued his attackers for several blocks before passing out from blood loss. Decoatsworth was later invited to Washington, D.C. and honored by President Obama during his [...]
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