True Detective Stories
By Wyatt Earp | August 11, 2010
In the five years that I have been posting true detective stories, I have come across some real winners – or losers, depending upon your point of view. Stupid complainants, idiotic criminals, and incompetent cops have been the norm rather than the exception. Some stories have been funny, some have been duct-tape inducing.
I can say without hyperbole that this is far and away the best story of them all. A police officer called yesterday and actually said this:
“Yeah, I’m out at a house on Ruscomb Street. A woman just had a baby inside the house, and there is blood all over the floor here. Do you guys want to come out to this scene?”
The idiot officer implied that there was a crime scene at the location, and he wanted to know if we were going to process it. I guess he wanted us to come out, take pictures, interview witnesses, and dust the baby for fingerprints. I stared at the phone for a second before I replied, “Um no, we don’t come out for that.”
After hanging up, I told the story to my co-workers and one of them responded, “Did she give birth to a fugitive?”
Topics: True Detective Stories | 15 Comments »
August 11th, 2010 at 8:41 am
Maybe he thought there was a littering or vandalism charge to be had. Or maybe just a code violation – running an unlicensed medical facility in a residentially zoned neighborhood.
August 11th, 2010 at 9:15 am
LFH – Maybe is was a drug house. She probably took an aspirin afterward.
August 11th, 2010 at 9:56 am
The baby obviously ASSAULTED her, sheesh.
August 11th, 2010 at 10:18 am
You need to write a book with these stories.
Oh yes my comment.maybe he thought it was a crack house.
August 11th, 2010 at 10:20 am
You should have told him you had kids and have seen it all before. I’m betting this guy is single and this exchange helps to explain why.
August 11th, 2010 at 10:36 am
Sort of reminds me of the 5 kids (and they were good kids) who took shelter in a stairwell during a lightening storm. The female field lt wanted them charged with trespassing. We looked at the coppers in the station and started laughing. My partner and I were banned from the district for 3 months.
August 11th, 2010 at 11:31 am
Sally Anne – Imagine if you lived in Philly. You’d have a record as long as your arm.
Rick – I’ve thought about it, but it would never get published.
MeToo – He is, and it does.
LDIV – Unbelievable. You wonder how they made rank.
August 11th, 2010 at 11:47 am
Do you have a “Back 40″ somewhere in Philadelphia to put officers like this guy out of their misery?
August 11th, 2010 at 1:02 pm
“Did she give birth to a fugitive?”
Yes! You guys should have started a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse within a six mile radius.
August 11th, 2010 at 4:26 pm
Looks like they didn’t raise the hiring standards in time.
Those ninja babies need to be stopped! Outlaw babies!
August 11th, 2010 at 5:03 pm
LDIV – Unbelievable. You wonder how they made rank
Chicago has a 30% merit promotion to every rank.
Merit = Clout or other unmentionable things………
As the old timers used to say “It’s all LEGIT, kid”…..
August 11th, 2010 at 6:36 pm
Well, if the baby’s an illegal…
August 11th, 2010 at 7:41 pm
Yes, she did have a baby boy, and his name is SumBaby, son of SumDude
August 13th, 2010 at 2:40 pm
Ferrell – I think the Back 40 is my division.
John D – You forgot crack house.
RT – They broke out . . . of the womb!
LDIV – We get cable TV in the office. Does that count?
Bob – Si!
Mrmacs – SumKid?
August 24th, 2010 at 1:13 pm
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