Archive for July, 2010
« Previous Entries Next Entries »Ladies And Gentlemen, The Inflatable Pub
Sunday, July 11th, 2010Just in time for the World Cup Final! The traditional English pub has truly earned its name as the nation’s local — with the launch of this inflatable boozer you can blow up in your garden. There are four different watering holes available in different sizes holding between five and 50 punters. The larger ‘Hogshead’ [...]
True Detective Stories
Sunday, July 11th, 2010So, how is your weekend going? Mine has been chock full of idiots, especially on Friday night. We close our wheel – meaning we don’t accept new jobs – after 10pm. Anything that comes in after 10pm is held for the next shift, because we are not allowed overtime anymore. Seriously. Any hoo, an officer [...]
Mexican Clown Arrested For Sexual Assault
Saturday, July 10th, 2010I guess he misinterpreted the phrase, “F**k me silly.” A Mexican street clown – arrested in full face paint – was booked Wednesday on a sexual assault charge. Pedro Artega Velazquez, 53, was juggling on a Juarez street corner when collared by cops in connection with the alleged assault of his teenage stepdaughter. Velazquez posed [...]
Clinton To Perform Weiner Wedding
Saturday, July 10th, 2010And really, who knows more about wieners than Slick Willie? I just want to know who will be walking the weiners down the aisle and how they will be putting the rings on. I mean, that area is usually pretty sensitive when it comes to jewelry. Or so I’ve heard. Oh, Clinton will be performing [...]
Julianne Hough Has Lost Her Mind
Saturday, July 10th, 2010Apparently, she is dating uber-tool Ryan Seacrest. “American Idol” host Ryan Seacrest and “Dancing with the Stars” (“DWTS”) dancer Julianne Hough can no longer act so coy — they were spotted kissing on Seacrest’s yacht while on a romantic vacation in Portofino, Italy, the New York Post reported Thursday. Sources said a set of sensational [...]
Weekend Caption Contest
Friday, July 9th, 2010Tunnel Rat Caption Contest (Source: AP) Caption this photo in the comments section or e-mail me your photoshop entries. The winners will be announced on Monday, July 12th. Good luck! Original Caption: A Pakistani paramilitary soldier walks toward the entrance of a tunnel allegedly used by militants on the outskirt of Sadda, an area of [...]
Bad Grill Sends Horny Guy Running
Friday, July 9th, 2010Ladies, let this be a lesson to you. Once in a while – a very great while – a man will decide to not have sex with a woman. GAINESVILLE, Fla. – Police in Florida said they arrested a woman who allegedly snatched a man’s money after he decided not to pay her for sex [...]
Easily The Funniest Headline In History
Friday, July 9th, 2010Are you ready? Here it is: TIRED GAY SUCCUMBS TO DIX IN 200 METERS Olympic bronze medalist Walter Dix edged out Tyson Gay in the former world champion’s hotly-anticipated return to the 200 meters at the Prefontaine Classic Diamond League meeting on Saturday. Dix, who won the 100 meters and placed second at the U.S. [...]
American Airlines: Doing What We Do Best
Thursday, July 8th, 2010That catchy slogan would be right on the money if they were referring to losing luggage. Of course, American can brag that they’re the best, because they didn’t just lose a jacket or some frilly undergarments. Those things happen all the time. No, they lost guns! Guns that happen to belong to Israeli Prime Minister [...]
The Largest Tax Increases In History
Thursday, July 8th, 2010They’re coming on January 1, 2011, thanks to the Obama administration: In just six months, the largest tax hikes in the history of America will take effect. They will hit families and small businesses in three great waves on January 1, 2011. In 2001 and 2003, the GOP Congress enacted several tax cuts for investors, [...]
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