Archive for August, 2009
« Previous Entries Next Entries »John Edwards: One Fertile Bastard
Friday, August 14th, 2009Good grief, this guy makes me look like a rank amateur! If Elizabeth Edwards has any sense, she should pull a Jenny Sanford – pack up and leave her husband right away. Of course, Elizabeth should probably castrate John before packing away her fingernail clippers, but that’s her choice. And so, more than a year [...]
Philadelphia Eagles Sign Michael Vick
Friday, August 14th, 2009Bawahahahahahahaha! Thank God I hate the Eagles – and most Eagles fans – otherwise, I would be pretty pissed off right now. Michael Vick is back in the NFL, landing a job with the Philadelphia Eagles. Come on, let’s hear it from all of you Stepford Eagles fans out there. Tell me how this is [...]
An Important Update
Thursday, August 13th, 2009I am seeing this movie, post haste! That is all.
True Detective Stories
Thursday, August 13th, 2009The best thing about working a busy Philadelphia detective division is that no matter how much time you have on the job, eventually, something will surprise you. Such was the case yesterday, when two incredible jobs came in within 30 minutes. (And by “incredible,” I mean “not credible.”) For the first story, pretend you are [...]
Nude Doorbell Ringer Pleads Not Guilty
Thursday, August 13th, 2009If he was nude, what did he ring the doorbell with? REDWOOD CITY, Calif. – A man suspected of appearing nude at homes and ringing doorbells is being held on $60,000 bail after pleading not guilty to a series of charges. Peter Allen Steele, who is 6 feet 7 inches tall and weighs 250 pounds, [...]
Obama Girl Is Back!
Thursday, August 13th, 2009Okay, not THE Obama Girl, but AN Obama Girl. Isn’t she just the most precious thing? And how courageous of her to stand up in front of an entirely non-scripted Town Hall meeting and ask the President of the United States a very pointed and relevant question? I mean what are the chances that a [...]
Humpday History Highlight
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009Do these bones make her look fat? August 12, 1990 – Skeleton Of Tyrannosaurus Rex Found On this day in 1990, fossil hunter Susan Hendrickson discovers three huge bones jutting out of a cliff near Faith, South Dakota. They turn out to be part of the largest-ever Tyrannosaurus rex skeleton ever discovered, a 65 million-year-old [...]
Summer Vacation!!!
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009By the time you read this, I will officially be on vacation. That’s right, kids. Nine glorious days of doing nothing but waking up at noon, eating chocolate chip cookie dough from the tube, blasting Nirvana from my stereo, and walking around in my underwear! Whoo hoo! Okay, that is not entirely correct, so I [...]
Golfer Dies After Falling Out Of Cart
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009Good Lord, what a terrible story. I have actually played at this golf course with my Dad. It’s a terrific local club. You may remember the story of last year’s HHGR golf outing, where Badger and Vinnie spun my cart, flipping it over. Luckily Fish and I were okay, but you never know what can [...]
Arlen Specter’s Last Political Gasp
Wednesday, August 12th, 2009It’s pretty damned entertaining, isn’t it? The first guy must be one of those “Nazi plants from the insurance companies.” Because, you know, he couldn’t possibly be an angry senior citizen worried about his health coverage, right? Things got a little heated at the townhall forum held by Senator Arlen Specter (R er, D-PA) this [...]
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