Barkeep, Gimme An Irish Russian
By Wyatt Earp | August 4, 2009
The Russian Federation are taking a unique approach to health care for next month’s World Cup qualifier in Wales:
They are telling Russian soccer fans to drink plenty of whiskey. Seriously. Wow, that sure makes ObamaCare look like small potatoes.
Apparently, the commies want to show the Brits how to throw a real drunken soccer riot. Whiskey instead of vodka, though? Somewhere, Josef Stalin is rolling over in his tomb.
MOSCOW – Russian soccer fans have been told to drink whiskey on their trip to Wales for next month’s World Cup qualifier to ward off the H1N1 swine flu virus, the head of the country’s supporter association (VOB) said Monday.
“We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whiskey as a form of disinfection,” VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.
“That should cure all symptoms of the disease.”
Not to mention the added effect of growing hair on your tongue.
Russia’s Health Ministry has issued a public warning against traveling to Britain because of the spread of the H1N1 virus but Shprygin said he expected at least several hundred fans would go to Wales for the September 9 qualifier in Cardiff. (H/T – Reuters)
Well, I guess I know where Vincent Antonelli will be next month. Have a safe trip, Vin!
Editor’s Note: Captain America is vacationing in Switzerland with the Oberfrau and family. Thus, I am posting at First In for a few weeks until he returns. You know, in case you don’t get enough of my idiocy here.
Topics: Al-key-hol | 6 Comments »
Uh…so, I guess he got his medical credentials from Pep Boys? Geesh. Personally, vodka would be much better.
Hey, it’s like Uri Omovich says in RocknRolla: “Whiskey is the new vodka.”
I think it’s best to steer clear of all amber liquors, unless of course you’re making side cars. Vodka will disinfect just fine, thank you. Actually, I’m surprised he didn’t suggest shots of Lysol.
Yeah, you stick to your Tamiflu, big guy. I’ll take the Jameson. If nothing else, I’ll sleep through the whole flu season.
Come on guys, how is your reading over the pond? Who is talking about Irish whiskey? And anyway, John Jameson came from Scotland! And the Irish can’t spell whisky”!
“We urge our fans to drink a lot of Welsh whisk[e]y as a form of disinfection,” VOB head Alexander Shprygin told Reuters.
Try that again: WELSH as in coming from Wales, not Irish as in who knows where it’s come from!
http://www.welsh-whisky.co.uk/home.html
Welsh whisky distilling ended largely because of the Welsh chapel temperance movement towards the end of the 19th century but it restarted in 2000 at Penderyn. Genuine Welsh whisky, using water from 340 million year old rocks and with the spirit aged in the finest Bourbon casks and the finest Madeira flasks to follow.
” … one of the finest and most delicate malt whiskies in the world.”
“Absolutely staggering arrival on the palate of malt, landing with almost snowflake delicateness. Immediately a second movement, this time of bitter-sweet fruit, blood orange included, sweeps down over the startled taste buds. Astonishing stuff.” – Jim Murray’s Whisky Bible.
But not exactly medicinal stuff. That’s reserved for Laphroaig whisky. Laphroaig is Gaelic for, “the beautiful hollow by the broad bay” and comes from the Scottish island of Islay. The taste of the whisky is described (unkindly) by some as rather like sucking medicinal gauze …
Maybe this is what Alexander Shprygin had in mind …
They make superior vodka as well …