Archive for July, 2009
« Previous Entries Next Entries »Joe Jackson Must Be Stopped
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009It’s bad enough that Joe Jackson promoted his record company when a BET personality asked him about the death of his son, but now this psycho wants to group Jacko’s children and put them on tour. For his profit, of course. Michael Jackson’s father, Joe Jackson, is lining up the King of Pop’s children for [...]
A Man Walks Into A Prison With Cocaine
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009Sounds like the beginning of a very bad joke, right? Sadly, this is yet another story of a Philadelphia lawyer “working overtime” for his client. These stories would be funny if they weren’t so tragic. This man is an absolute disgrace, and he probably fought tooth and nail to get a Not Guilty verdict. Funny [...]
Wow, That Stimulus Plan Is Working Great!
Tuesday, July 14th, 2009Remember that “stimulus plan” that President Obama put together? Yeah, the one he said would create new jobs and save current ones? You know, the one that cost just under $1 trillion? Well, we’re finally seeing results . . . With the entire nation wondering at the effectiveness of a stimulus package that has resulted [...]
Kate Winslet Is Retiring The Birthday Suit
Monday, July 13th, 2009Noooooooooo! According to the lovely Winslet, the world has “seen enough” of her boob-tastic nakedness. After years of nude scenes, Oscar-winner Kate Winslet is getting ready to put it all away once and for all. In a new interview with Harper’s Bazaar, the actress says she knows that her age will catch up with her [...]
Obama To Be In Booth For All-Star Game
Monday, July 13th, 2009Yet another reason to dislike baseball. When I read about this yesterday, it was just a rumor. Apparently, it has now been confirmed by FOX Sports. The Idiot-in-Chief will be in the broadcast booth sometime mid-game. Swell. ZIP adds the sad but true point of all this: He can’t be any worse than Tim McCarver….. [...]
Study: Ugly Men Have Better Sperm
Monday, July 13th, 2009Well, duh! I could have told you that. I have four kids, and I am uglier than James Carville! Uglier men with fewer notches on their belts are likely to be more productive between the sheets, it is claimed. Research suggests that in many species, the most desirable males restrict their “sperm load” with each [...]
Monday Morning Media Madness
Monday, July 13th, 2009President Obama met with Pope Benedict XVI last week, and it is truly a miracle that His Holiness – the Pope, not Obama – did not run him out of the Vatican on a rail. I’m sure it took every ounce of “What Would Jesus Do?” in him to not strangle the POTUS for his [...]
Look! Down On The Ground!
Sunday, July 12th, 2009It’s a bird! It’s a plane!! No, it’s some douche dressed in a Superman outfit!!! Every time I have to deal with a moron on the phone or at the division window, I think that there cannot be a worse place to work than the Philadelphia Police Department. And then I read a story like [...]
Weighin’ Me Down
Sunday, July 12th, 2009Well, today is the first official weigh-in for this round of dieting, and I came into it with a pretty good feeling. I went cycling (6 miles a day) nearly every day this week, and made my Weight Watchers points six out of seven days. Not perfect, but not bad, either. I started this new [...]
The Bride Of Franken Whine
Sunday, July 12th, 2009America took a big credibility hit last week when Al Freakin’ Franken was declared the winner of the disputed Minnesota Senate race. The land of Paul Bunyan was a laughingstock when they elected Jesse “The Body” Ventura governor; now, they are just plain sad. This jackass is the subject of this week’s Family Security Matters [...]
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