Biden Gets Schooled By 5th Graders
By Wyatt Earp | May 12, 2009
What do you get when you take a grade school auditorium, a room full of sugared-up kids, and one knucklehead vice-president with a penchant for saying stupid things?
You get top-notch comedy, that’s what. And it was there in spades when Joe Biden visited a Syracuse area elementary school this week. RT sent me this little piece of heaven. I am fairly sure you’ll enjoy it.
When Joe Biden ventured to a Syracuse elementary school Sunday, he spoke with characteristic, um, candor about how long he’d thought about being vice president (not long), whether his dog was smarter than Obama’s, and how he’d fare in a game of Oval Office basketball.
Note to Joe: Obama would wipe the court with you in b-ball.
Under normal circumstances, a politician being grilled by fifth-graders is hackneyed political theater. But when the politician is Joe Biden, there is a certain affinity between the two parties—both are highly rambunctious and, to hear it from their minders, do not excel at self-censorship.
“Rambunctious.” That has the author’s code word for “simpleminded.”
When the vice president paid a visit Sunday to Bellevue Elementary School in Syracuse, one inquisitive young mind wanted to know something Biden himself might have been wondering. “What do I do for a living? What I do for a living,” Biden flashed a grin. “That’s a good question. I used to be a lawyer, going to courtrooms lots of times. What I do now is I try to help out the country—with the president—and try to make sure we can end the wars that are going on, and make sure all of you kids get the best education… I do a lot of things. I want the press to know,” he chuckled, “what do I do for a living.”
When he is through informing the press, can he let us know what the Hell he does for a living? I only see him putting his foot in his mouth and lying about coming under fire in a war zone.
Before his younger audience, Biden acknowledged he was still adjusting to the vice presidency—a position that had not exactly been his dream job. “I thought I wanted to be a really good athlete. I even thought that when I was in law school,” he said. “I tried to be president a couple times. But it never crossed my mind, being vice president. It’s a new experience for me.” You could almost hear his handlers’ sweat dripping. “I didn’t think about the vice presidency, honey, till almost, about 100 days ago!”
Dumbass. It’s good to know that he only thought about being VP on the day of the election. As far as the POTUS runs go, this tool lost to Michael Dukakis and Barack Obama. Sad. But I guess getting almost 0% of the vote can be translated into “I tried to be president a couple times” in the Biden Dictionary.
He acknowledged that the president—whose name the kids proudly shouted when asked—was a “really a cool guy… really a smart guy.”
Biden then added that Obama was an “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” Heh.
At times, though, Biden seemed determined to prove to the kids that he was pretty awesome, too. “The president thinks my house is nicer than his,” he said of his digs at the U.S. Naval Observatory. “No, for real he does. It’s 75 acres in the middle of Washington.”
Okay, that is just a douchebag statement. First of all, Obama currently lives in the White House, so his digs are pretty nice. Secondly, even if Obama thinks Biden’s house is nicer than his, why would he say that to a bunch of elementary school children?
Why? Because Biden is an egotistical braggart. Oh, and he is also a douche.
You really should read the rest of the story HERE. It’s funny stuff, even though I think it was supposed to be complimentary of Biden – or at least neutral. The author gushes about Obama on his site and writes for TreeHugger (whatever the Hell that is) and HuffPo. But this article is not the flourishing piece that one would expect from a fan. In short, it makes Biden look like, well, Biden.
And for those of us in the Delaware Valley who know him best, Biden is a knucklehead.
Topics: Evil = Funny | 8 Comments »
May 12th, 2009 at 1:32 pm
Dang I never had Veeps or ..”The Prez” ..talk at my school growing up. Ike was always out playing golf not nationalizing every important industry and institution, in a mad power hungry grab. Hmmm will Biden name his dog..Checkers?
May 12th, 2009 at 1:35 pm
Poor Biden.
May 12th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
He’s forgotten the stage rule:
Never work with animals or children!
May 12th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
Biden did not just insult Bo. He insulted the office of First Dog!
See:
http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/05/11/biden-insults-presidents-dog/
May 12th, 2009 at 3:39 pm
I think it is pretty obvious from this article; he shovels BS to anyone who will listen.
May 12th, 2009 at 4:58 pm
Alternate headline: “Dozens of fifth graders appear on the new TV game show Who’s Smarter Than a Washington Politician?” As it turns out, they all were. Even that dopey kid who picks his nose and eats the boogers.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:46 pm
Well, at least the nation will now know what horse’s patootie he is. He’s the comic to Obama’s straight man.
May 13th, 2009 at 8:08 am
Wish I could have supplied the donuts and Mt. Dew.