Archive for April, 2009
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Friday, April 24th, 2009This, my friends, is the funniest story of the week. BLOOMINGTON, Minn. – Police said a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge. Police got a call just before 5 a.m. Sunday from a 21-year-old man [...]
Apple Apologizes For “Baby Shaker”
Friday, April 24th, 2009Gee, what’s there to apologize for? It was only a “game” that let iPhone users shake a screaming baby until it either stopped crying . . . or died! Personally, I cannot think of anyone would would want to buy that type of app, especially not anyone who has children. Apple really dropped the ball [...]
Mel Gibson’s Mistress Does Lingerie Shoot
Friday, April 24th, 2009This may surprise you, but I think leaving your wife and seven children for a Russian model – even a hot one – is a scumbag move. I must be mellowing in my old age. Hmm. The mother of my seven children, or a hot Russian model who plays the piano in her underwear. This, [...]
The Rink Report
Friday, April 24th, 2009See? That’s what my team needs . . . cheerleaders! Last night was our first ice hockey playoff game. The series is a Best-of-Three format against the Rink Rats. These guys always play us tough, and they eliminated us last season – in fairness, with the help of a few ringers – so there was [...]
Hate Mail O’ The Week
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009This fabulous piece of comedy was submitted for the Janeane Garofalo: Tea Parties Are Racist post. The author’s alleged name is “D Garvey” and he/she is obviously an intelligent, thoughtful, mentally balanced person. See for yourself: Hey all you conservative freaks: It was your vile party that got us into this mess in the first [...]
Philly Officer Discharges Weapon In Olney
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009The “good people” at FOX29 are writing this to read as a huge conspiracy story. Luckily for me, this incident happened in my division, so I know the facts of the case. Read on: PHILADELPHIA – Police are being tightlipped about an incident that happened late Wednesday night in Olney. All they will say is [...]
Army: Virus Vials Missing From Facility
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009Oh. Crap. You know, as a Philadelphia police detective, I cannot walk into our Criminal Justice Center without passing through the security checkpoint and showing my shield and/or ID. And this is our main court facility. It’s not as if I don’t stand out with my shield, gun, and handcuffs. So, following that logic, HOW [...]
Faith Hill Poses As Iconic Blondes
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009You had me at “Faith Hill.” Country singer Faith Hill goes incognito in the May issue of Redbook magazine, posing as three other iconic blondes. The singer, 41, chose to pose as actress Brigitte Bardot, model Twiggy and actress Grace Kelly. Here are a few highlights from Hill’s interview, which hits newsstands April 28: On [...]
Exotic Dancer Attacked With Stiletto
Thursday, April 23rd, 2009Suspects flee the assault scene. AKRON, Ohio – Ohio police say a 52-year-old woman was attacked on her first day as an exotic dancer by a jealous co-worker wielding a stiletto heel. 52 years old? I guess it’s safe to say she wouldn’t be headlining. She is probably more of a Tuesday afternoon girl. Akron [...]
Dog The Bounty Hunter Shot At In Colorado
Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009Um, he’s a frickin’ bounty hunter! And not a very good one at that, in my opinion. Isn’t he supposed to be shot at?! Why is this news??? Who is in charge here??? COLORADO SPRINGS, Colo. – Police in Colorado say shots were fired at TV bounty hunter Duane “Dog” Chapman and a bail bondsman [...]
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