Archive for February, 2009
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Tuesday, February 24th, 2009People sometimes ask me, “Hey Wyatt, why are you so cynical and jaded about your job?” Well, the short answer is because I get my jollies by being a sarcastic bastard. The long answer can be explained by this story. See this fine, upstanding individual on the left? His name is Frederick Baynes, and he [...]
It’s Fat Tuesday!
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009No, I don’t think he has anything to do with the celebration, although I can’t tell if he is wearing any beads from this angle. *shudder* For the two of you who have never seen the Girls Gone Wild commercials, Fat Tuesday it America’s favorite excuse to get drunk, ogle some women, and generally make [...]
Beijing Bans Bright Clothes For Officials
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009Well, what the Hell are they gonna do when the 80′s fashions come back? BEIJING – Public servants in the gritty central Chinese city of Zhengzhou should not sport “unnatural hair styles” or wear clothes that are too colorful, according to new city regulations. From now on, Zhengzhou city officials should make sure their clothing [...]
Miranda Kerr: Face Of A Virgin?
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009This hot little number is the biggest thing to hit Australia since Koala bears. The latest person who wants to hitch a ride on the gossamer coat-tails of supermodel Miranda Kerr is none other than Virgin boss, Sir Richard Branson. The hell raising aviation bigwig, who arrives in Australia Monday tomorrow in preparation for Friday’s [...]
Obama Pledges $1 Billion To Gaza
Tuesday, February 24th, 2009I have to admit, that’s rather decent of him. Luckily we have such a huge surplus of money that we can afford to rebuild an area run by a terrorist organization. You know, the terrorist-run state that continually fires rockets into Israel. Yeah, we’re taking money we don’t have and giving it to them. Are [...]
Recessions Are Funny
Monday, February 23rd, 2009So, I saw this photo today, and my first thought was this: “I wonder what her monthly food bill is?” Does that make me evil?
Joe Biden: Stimulus Czar
Monday, February 23rd, 2009Funniest appointment . . . evah! President Obama has turned to his own vice president to oversee implementation of the $787 billion economic stimulus package, part of which will be available this week for state Medicaid programs. Joe Biden was the best man for this job? Is he serious? How about appointing someone intelligent for [...]
Jim Bunning Has Foot-In-Mouth Disease
Monday, February 23rd, 2009I don’t remember him saying such stupid things when he was pitching for the Phillies. ELIZABETHTOWN, Ky. — U.S. Sen. Jim Bunning predicted over the weekend that U.S. Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg would likely be dead from pancreatic cancer within nine months. During a wide-ranging 30-minute speech on Saturday at the Hardin County [...]
Philly Newspapers File For Chapter 11
Monday, February 23rd, 2009Oh, that’s a shame. The owner of The Philadelphia Inquirer and Philadelphia Daily News has filed for bankruptcy. Philadelphia Newspapers Inc. filed for Chapter 11 protection Sunday. PNI is owned by Philadelphia Media Holdings LLC. It is the second newspaper company in two days, and fourth in recent months, to seek bankruptcy protection. The Journal [...]
Mammoth Skeleton Found In Los Angeles
Monday, February 23rd, 2009Ho. Lee. Crap! Are they sure it wasn’t just Joan Rivers? LOS ANGELES – The nearly complete skeleton of a massive Columbian mammoth who died during the last ice age has been dug out of a construction site near the La Brea Tar Pits in downtown Los Angeles, a remarkable find even in the fossil-rich [...]
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