The Return Of Fatty McButterpants
By Wyatt Earp | September 5, 2008
Okay, I’m not to this point . . . yet.
It’s been two months since I beat everyone’s tail in our Blogger Weight Loss Challenge. I started the year at a whopping 236 pounds, and finished at 196 on June 30th. For those of you in Mississippi, that’s a net loss of 40 pounds. Heh. Since then, I kept up my daily 5-mile walks, and have ratcheted up the gear to a jog. I am slowly (but Shirley) trying to jog the entire 5-mile course, every day.
And then, vacation came.
When I spent the week down the shore with the family and the in-laws, I ate like a frakkin’ sweaty hog. Combine that with eating like a pig when I was home alone for the week afterward, and the numbers – and my waistline – are going to swell. Just for fun, I weighed myself last week, and the scale read 200.
I wanted to cry.
Okay, it’s only a 4-pound gain, but it was over the course of two months. I’m no math major, but after a year, that would add up to – um, carry the one . . . – 100 pounds! (I think.) Anyhoo, it was enough to get my head out of my arse.
Then, along came RT. She lost a lot of weight during our contest, too, but figured – as I did – that she performed better under (peer) pressure. So, she is beginning a new challenge, starting tomorrow. Of course, I’m in. I jogged today for at least half of the course, and am paying for it as I type this – everything below the waist hurts – but I NEVER want to be that fat bastard again.
That’s where you come in. When I am working day shift – like I am for the next two weeks – it is rather difficult to make my Weight Watchers points. I need motivation, and the “You can do it” crap doesn’t work for someone with my low self-esteem. So, I am opening the floodgates.
Tell me what a fat, disgusting 200-pound whale I have become. Tell me how much I suck. Tell me I am starting to bend light. Hell, don’t stop there; tell me how much you hate the blog, or me, or both! I want – no, I need – to suffer your slings and arrows today. it’s the only way I’ll get a kick start on this thing. And for a limited time only, the “sentence enhancer” ban is lifted for this post only, so Dorkelina, have at me! At my signal, unleash Hell.
Aaannnddd . . . GO!
UPDATE: Saturday morning’s weigh-in has me at 200. It’ll be less next week.
Topics: Weight Loss | 23 Comments »
September 5th, 2008 at 8:54 pm
Stop two-fisting the Twinkies! (Did that work? Against my nature to hurt a friend’s feelings.)
See, now I just want to write really nice things.
I’ve found being single and fat is a good combination for suckitude.
September 5th, 2008 at 9:30 pm
I would respond but I am from Mississippi and I ain’t edukatid!
September 5th, 2008 at 9:44 pm
Deanna – Oh, you saw that, huh?
September 5th, 2008 at 11:02 pm
Well, if I were one of “those” women I wouldn’t be talking to you right now for insulting me, BUT I am not. There are classy and educated people in Mississippi.
September 5th, 2008 at 11:46 pm
Today someone said this is a big ass country. Try not to make it even bigger. Sorry that is all I got.
September 6th, 2008 at 1:25 am
Put down that burger and give me 20 maggot!
September 6th, 2008 at 1:47 am
Fatty fat fat fatty fat fat.
Put the cookie down, fatty. We care about you.
September 6th, 2008 at 2:07 am
I once thought that I could encourage your weight loss, but I was only two hundred pounds then and have since been up to 208 – because I spend too much time reading blogs all day – don’t remember that last jog (yes it was sometime this last week – but should have been five times not once). I would like to encourage you, but want to blame my weight gains on my doctor, my medicine and you and all those worthy bloggers that keep me addicted to the internet…
204.5 pounds this morning, and I don’t eat badly – just not exercising enough.
September 6th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
203.5 pounds this morning, time to go jog….
September 6th, 2008 at 12:21 pm
“I can HEAR you getting fatter.”*
*Spot the movie quote
September 6th, 2008 at 12:37 pm
Monica – TOMMY BOY!!!
September 6th, 2008 at 2:44 pm
In in bro… posted weight here…
September 6th, 2008 at 5:14 pm
Would it make you feel better if I told you I weighed several more than two hundred?
September 6th, 2008 at 9:36 pm
I can’t believe it. You knock Mississippi and then say your weight gain of 4 pound that happend “over 2 months” would equal 100 pounds over a year? Obviously you meant “two weeks” and the fat you put on is causing swelling of the brain.
Meanwhile, I’m slowly trying to get down to 200 pounds. (Down nearly 20 from the middle of June.) And I can’t jog due to ankle, knee and back problems.
September 6th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
I joined the challenge.
September 7th, 2008 at 6:51 am
I’m far from fat, but I could stand to drop a few pounds from the ice cream I’ve been much to fond of this summer. Now that the weather isn’t so frakin hot and humid I can start walking again regularly. I’m in.
September 7th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Joated – The knock on Mississippi was a shot at Deanna, who I love to mess with. And the math was a knock at me, because I was never good at it.
My knees are bad, too, but I’m trying to work through it.
September 7th, 2008 at 9:38 am
Oh, and if you want to join in the fun, let RT know by leaving her a comment HERE.
September 7th, 2008 at 9:54 am
I knew you were just pulling someone’s leg. But I just had to get the knock in about the poor math on your part. No offense meant.
Okay, I need the extra push to really get serious. Sign me up for the challenge.
I weighed in this morning at 217 (down from 232 in mid-June but on a serious plateau) and have a goal of getting down to 190. (That is a level I haven’t seen since…oh, somewhere south of junior year in high school. That would be 1965 or so.)
What are the rules and to whom to I report?
September 7th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Rules are simple: just post your weight every Saturday. You can let RT know you’re in at her blog. The link is above your last comment. She’s keeping track this time.
September 7th, 2008 at 10:16 am
Done.
September 7th, 2008 at 11:25 am
You have to do it or hot chicks the world over will puke at your feet! On the other hand, that alone might kill the appetite. You win either way!
Sorry, that’s all I’ve got. I think you’re doing great.
September 8th, 2008 at 8:20 am
If you get fat and slow again, I will not pass to you anymore. Oh, who am I kidding? I’m not passing to you anyway.